The thing about racism is that people don't like being discriminated against because of the colour of their skin. Mainly because it doesn't make any sense to do so, even in Essex. A perfect example is how saying 'bloody hell, she's orange!' can actually cause real offense when used about girls from Essex, the politically correct term of course being 'person of classless origin'. Don't worry though, discriminating against someone because they are fat or stupid or ugly is still absolutely fine. Thank God for small mercies.

Anyway, it turns out there's more than just racism against people from Essex Apparently it's been going on for years, and exclusively towards that poor little lamb Naomi Campbell, as if she didn't have enough problems deciding where to stash her blood soaked jewellery. However, despite what you've read, it's not America, Europe or those Hutu rascals that are the worst perpetrators, it's Cadbury. Sends shivers down your spine, even just the name.

What have Cadbury done? They've got a new advert in which Naomi Campbell's name is mentioned alongside a chocolate called Bliss. Now while you may be thinking that the advert above doesn't look racist in any way and is in fact simply playing on the fact that Campbell is reknowned as a sociopathic fruitcake, and at best could simply be called very badly judged*, you'd be wrong. In fact, they are calling her 'chocolate', and not just her, but every black person on the globe. Apparently (according to The Independent):

"I am shocked. It's upsetting to be described as chocolate, not just for me, but for all black women and black people. I do not find any humour in this. It is insulting and hurtful."

 

The model's mother, Valerie Morris, backed her daughter, saying: "I'm deeply upset by this racist advert. Do these people think they can insult black people and we just take it? This is the 21st century, not the 1950s. Shame on Cadbury."

 

Disgust at the ad prompted members of the public to complain to the campaign group Operation Black Vote (OBV), which has called for Cadbury to apologise. OBV's Simon Woolley said that without an apology, the "only recourse black people have is not to buy its chocolate". He has written to the American civil rights activists Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson to ask them to mobilise the country's Afro-American population. "I want them to know what their parent company is doing in Europe. I've asked them to support us."

 

Mr Woolley said that, for black people, being likened to chocolate was as bad as being called a golliwog. "Racism in the playground starts with black children being called 'chocolate bar'. At best, this is insensitive, and at worst it demonstrates Cadbury's utter disregard for causing offence. Its lack of apology just adds insult to injury. The Eurocentric joke is not funny to black people.

 

"It's particularly galling because we've just had a week that saw the establishment fall over themselves to be close to the Obamas and yet black people are being derided in such an insulting and negative way," Mr Woolley added.

 

The black activist Lee Jasper said: "This issue is not just about the insult to Naomi Campbell. It's about how these companies treat black people in general. Part of the problem is that they don't see it as offensive."

Bad news in that case. It looks like we've actually become a racist and fascist mouthpiece simply by showing you the adverts, so we're really sorry to any of our readers that have skin any colour other than Dulux Almond White, we're now immovable enemies and have a deep seated hatred for each other. Sorry.

*For anyone preparing to call us out on our racial hate crimes, have another quick read of this.