Hell on earth
Fri, 14/08/2009 - 10:54 by Drake Scorpio
Having recently been surpassed by Kanye West as the biggest cock in rap music, P Diddy has been doing all he can do regain his bellend crown. The rapper has collaborated with techno producer DJ Hell for a rambling, eight-minute expletive laden track called 'The DJ'.

And what is Puffy railing against in this torturous rant? The suffering and death in Dafur? The state of the world economy? The plight of AIDS victims?

No, "This goes out to all the motherfuckers that like 15, 20 minute versions of a motherfucking record."

Yes, Diddy is having a go at all those sell out DJs who put out records in radio-friendly four-minute versions. Fuck, Puffy is so real that this new single even has a 20 minute remix, as that is how goddam hard and real he is.

This is apparently for all the "afterhours motherfuckers" who are "divided souls" and are "catching the holy ghost through the music".

Jesus, how battered was he when he recorded this?

If you wanted to hear what it would be like to get Puffy to your house, fill him with gurners and hand him a mic at nine in the morning, this is probably what it would be like.

Enjoy!

EDIT: They've just asked us to put in a newer version of the video which, with no obvious signs of irony, appears to be a four-minute version...

  • thanks for this post

    http://www.google.com Does this show

    adotap Wed, 09/12/2009 - 15:56
  • Muthafucka!

    Blartmonster Sat, 15/08/2009 - 11:59
  • I think you've misunderstood what kind of site this is Stew, you spunk-sucking spastic cunt. Fuck off back to Mojo with your whiny bitching you fucking cunt.

    Boffer Sat, 15/08/2009 - 09:25
  • If Coldplay selling the same bland shit year after year stops people buying the utter crap that this track is, then God bless Chris Martin.

    Felix Duh Cat Sat, 15/08/2009 - 08:49
  • Who said it was a rap record in the first place?

    If you are into rap/hip hop/black music I agree it might not be your cup of tea. Just because it features P Diddy though it shouldn't be taken for granted what audience it's aimed at. Also just because he's sold more records than DJ Hell his collaborator on this track, same thing, doesn't mean it should automatically fall into his mould - what I'm trying to say is... "is it DJ Hell feat P Diddy or vice versa or something else completely different". I Eddie Van Halen featuring on "Beat It" with Jacko - most people will remember it for MJ's formulae r and b style, but there are many whole associate it with the Van Halen guitar style.

    Personally I agree it's not the greatest track, but fair play to the guy for trying something different. There are bands like Coldplay taking the piss out of the record buying public and getting turning out the same bland shit year after year.

    stew Fri, 14/08/2009 - 21:19
  • This really is the sort of shit that gives black music a fuckin' muthafuckin' bad name

    Blartmonster Fri, 14/08/2009 - 17:47
  • Fair enough, I was just playing devils advocate with that one. *argumentative twat*

    p.s. J Dilla's "Donuts" is stunning (if you havent heard it). Shame he's a bit dead.

    unclebullshit Fri, 14/08/2009 - 16:22
  • I listened to it with the 5live traffic bird doing her stuff underneath whilst waiting for the film reviews. She improved it. Woeful crock of shit.

    royalboob Fri, 14/08/2009 - 15:51
  • Fair enough but my rant wasn't intented to dictate what anyone should or shouldn't listen to or that music without any political message isn't valid, but more just to opine that rap music in the past sounded a hell of a lot better ( less mindless regurgitative sampling & tuneless droning on about bitches, Bentleys etc ) and happened to make a very powerful tuneful point at the same time. Maybe it's just me, but 99% of current R&B & rap is just a turd in a hot-dog bap. I wish there was someone out there making something original and memorable but I haven't heard it yet, and seeing these cunts ( PDoDiddy/Kuntay West etc ) proclaiming themselves as modern day Mozarts really gets on my tits.

    erniemilko Fri, 14/08/2009 - 14:15
  • It sounds like a mash-up of a drunken, bugged phone-call...is anyone sure that's not what it is?

    lu Fri, 14/08/2009 - 13:43
  • I'm not sure its our place to dictate what kind of music black people should or shouldnt be listening to....maybe they saw Public Enemy as the black version of Bono or something? Just a thought. Its ok for us to get dressed up, fucked up and jump around to dance music, why should black people feel obliged to be politicised?

    unclebullshit Fri, 14/08/2009 - 12:54
  • Don't even get me started. Rap's been bankrupt for a decade at least - gone are the sharp verbal blades that had a cause and a message and the venom and originality to get it across, replaced by derivative, misogynistic, self-publicising fuckwits with planet-sized egos that dwarf their miniscule musical talents. Where's a communal oubliette to chuck them in when you need one??

    erniemilko Fri, 14/08/2009 - 11:59
  • Hope springs eternal dogpas

    Henry_McCarty Fri, 14/08/2009 - 11:36
  • oh dear, oh dear, oh dear................, what a sad, sad twat...., can he not get a job in Wendy's...., it's a better option for him...., time for another drive-by me thinks...

    dogpas Fri, 14/08/2009 - 11:25
  • Fucking hell it's come to this! Public Enemy come in, tearing the Yanks a second arsehole with some righteous indignation about the state of the black man in late twentieth century America. Fast forward 15 years and we've got this. From 'It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back' to 'It takes a retinue of fuckwits to hold my bling' in one generation.

    jiggerycock Fri, 14/08/2009 - 11:04
  • Even for a bell end like him this is fucking shite

    Boffer Fri, 14/08/2009 - 11:00
  • Got to 1:17 is this a record?

    Henry_McCarty Fri, 14/08/2009 - 10:57
  • Got to 1:17 is this a record?

    Henry_McCarty Fri, 14/08/2009 - 10:57
  • Even for a bell end like him this is fucking shite

    Boffer Fri, 14/08/2009 - 11:00
  • Fucking hell it's come to this! Public Enemy come in, tearing the Yanks a second arsehole with some righteous indignation about the state of the black man in late twentieth century America. Fast forward 15 years and we've got this. From 'It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back' to 'It takes a retinue of fuckwits to hold my bling' in one generation.

    jiggerycock Fri, 14/08/2009 - 11:04
  • oh dear, oh dear, oh dear................, what a sad, sad twat...., can he not get a job in Wendy's...., it's a better option for him...., time for another drive-by me thinks...

    dogpas Fri, 14/08/2009 - 11:25
  • Hope springs eternal dogpas

    Henry_McCarty Fri, 14/08/2009 - 11:36
  • Don't even get me started. Rap's been bankrupt for a decade at least - gone are the sharp verbal blades that had a cause and a message and the venom and originality to get it across, replaced by derivative, misogynistic, self-publicising fuckwits with planet-sized egos that dwarf their miniscule musical talents. Where's a communal oubliette to chuck them in when you need one??

    erniemilko Fri, 14/08/2009 - 11:59
  • I'm not sure its our place to dictate what kind of music black people should or shouldnt be listening to....maybe they saw Public Enemy as the black version of Bono or something? Just a thought. Its ok for us to get dressed up, fucked up and jump around to dance music, why should black people feel obliged to be politicised?

    unclebullshit Fri, 14/08/2009 - 12:54
  • It sounds like a mash-up of a drunken, bugged phone-call...is anyone sure that's not what it is?

    lu Fri, 14/08/2009 - 13:43
  • Fair enough but my rant wasn't intented to dictate what anyone should or shouldn't listen to or that music without any political message isn't valid, but more just to opine that rap music in the past sounded a hell of a lot better ( less mindless regurgitative sampling & tuneless droning on about bitches, Bentleys etc ) and happened to make a very powerful tuneful point at the same time. Maybe it's just me, but 99% of current R&B & rap is just a turd in a hot-dog bap. I wish there was someone out there making something original and memorable but I haven't heard it yet, and seeing these cunts ( PDoDiddy/Kuntay West etc ) proclaiming themselves as modern day Mozarts really gets on my tits.

    erniemilko Fri, 14/08/2009 - 14:15
  • I listened to it with the 5live traffic bird doing her stuff underneath whilst waiting for the film reviews. She improved it. Woeful crock of shit.

    royalboob Fri, 14/08/2009 - 15:51
  • Fair enough, I was just playing devils advocate with that one. *argumentative twat*

    p.s. J Dilla's "Donuts" is stunning (if you havent heard it). Shame he's a bit dead.

    unclebullshit Fri, 14/08/2009 - 16:22
  • This really is the sort of shit that gives black music a fuckin' muthafuckin' bad name

    Blartmonster Fri, 14/08/2009 - 17:47
  • Who said it was a rap record in the first place?

    If you are into rap/hip hop/black music I agree it might not be your cup of tea. Just because it features P Diddy though it shouldn't be taken for granted what audience it's aimed at. Also just because he's sold more records than DJ Hell his collaborator on this track, same thing, doesn't mean it should automatically fall into his mould - what I'm trying to say is... "is it DJ Hell feat P Diddy or vice versa or something else completely different". I Eddie Van Halen featuring on "Beat It" with Jacko - most people will remember it for MJ's formulae r and b style, but there are many whole associate it with the Van Halen guitar style.

    Personally I agree it's not the greatest track, but fair play to the guy for trying something different. There are bands like Coldplay taking the piss out of the record buying public and getting turning out the same bland shit year after year.

    stew Fri, 14/08/2009 - 21:19
  • If Coldplay selling the same bland shit year after year stops people buying the utter crap that this track is, then God bless Chris Martin.

    Felix Duh Cat Sat, 15/08/2009 - 08:49
  • I think you've misunderstood what kind of site this is Stew, you spunk-sucking spastic cunt. Fuck off back to Mojo with your whiny bitching you fucking cunt.

    Boffer Sat, 15/08/2009 - 09:25
  • Muthafucka!

    Blartmonster Sat, 15/08/2009 - 11:59
  • thanks for this post

    http://www.google.com Does this show

    adotap Wed, 09/12/2009 - 15:56

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