Paris Hilton turns 30, has birthday party, no-one comes, nation in tears

8 ...Idiots!Nicky Hilton, seems pretty innofensive advert The ghost of christmas future?The Brain Trust Kathy Griffin, loves the camera, hates herself Kathy and Rick Hilton, producers of The Great Evil advert So sexy Paris, so sexy.

The theme is.....

Over the Hilton

Wed, 16/02/2011 - 11:52 by John Hill

Good news everybody! Paris Hilton has turned 30 at last. We can finally expect a more mature, less attention seeking socialite now her ovaries have fully settled down. All those wild nights, edible dogs and exciting promotional campaigns for vodka flavoured prosecco are over.

She's now just a normal woman trying to live her life, taking every day as it comes, gradually progressing up her chosen career ladder (being a media whore) while all the time juggling her children (well, small dogs). She juggles children.

The guests at her birthday were all of the highest calibre, such wonderful, exciting people that in fact it's actually a bit of a shame there wasn't an ex-con with a grudge present at the party who was also of the highest calibre. Sorry, using the highest calibre. Incidentally, not all jokes are funny, but we'd like to apologise for that one specifically.

Attendees included: Kathy Griffin the attention whore, Paris' boyfriend Cy Waits (unbelievably stupid spelling), the couple that created Paris - Kathy and Ricky Hilton, plus a fine selection of local fruitcakes.

On a more serious note, when will Paris Hilton simply cease to exist? There's no way she can be real, which only leaves the possibility we've created her using our collective consciousness, the Devil made real if you will. So perhaps if we all simply stop believing in her, she'll disappear. It has to be worth a try at any rate.

Celebrity Birthday, Paris Hilton pictures, Kathy Griffin, Nicky Hilton, Paris Hilton

Comments

you cant get away with what you have done anymore, also you have to start thinking about what you wear now otherwise people might think you are not getting out of the era where you were able to show your private parts etc etc its a new era now so I think it might be time to start dressing without showing to much leg. Who would want to celebrate getting older really, birthdays are stupid and a waste of time to me rather celebrate christmas.
dancingworm Thu, 17/02/2011 - 06:35
What the hell IS a Kathy Griffin? She looks like a woman who has never been troubled by a cock - unless you count her own that is or her knob of a friend Paris.
PuddyTwat Wed, 16/02/2011 - 17:58
these people have millions in the bank yet look like a naff burlesque themed hen night in newcastle, sponsored by poundland
merkin Wed, 16/02/2011 - 14:29
Paris the city or Paris the person, I'm happy with either being obliterated
The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 16/02/2011 - 14:05
There's something about clicking one's heels and hoping for the end of Paris that I quite like....
slug Wed, 16/02/2011 - 13:09
See she invited Dancing Worm along (pic 4). Nice touch.
Raging Hardon Wed, 16/02/2011 - 12:28
I don't believe in Paris, I don't believe in Paris, I don't believe in Paris *clicks heels 3 times*
The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 16/02/2011 - 12:11

I don't believe in Paris, I don't believe in Paris, I don't believe in Paris *clicks heels 3 times*
The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 16/02/2011 - 12:11
See she invited Dancing Worm along (pic 4). Nice touch.
Raging Hardon Wed, 16/02/2011 - 12:28
There's something about clicking one's heels and hoping for the end of Paris that I quite like....
slug Wed, 16/02/2011 - 13:09
Paris the city or Paris the person, I'm happy with either being obliterated
The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 16/02/2011 - 14:05
these people have millions in the bank yet look like a naff burlesque themed hen night in newcastle, sponsored by poundland
merkin Wed, 16/02/2011 - 14:29
What the hell IS a Kathy Griffin? She looks like a woman who has never been troubled by a cock - unless you count her own that is or her knob of a friend Paris.
PuddyTwat Wed, 16/02/2011 - 17:58
you cant get away with what you have done anymore, also you have to start thinking about what you wear now otherwise people might think you are not getting out of the era where you were able to show your private parts etc etc its a new era now so I think it might be time to start dressing without showing to much leg. Who would want to celebrate getting older really, birthdays are stupid and a waste of time to me rather celebrate christmas.
dancingworm Thu, 17/02/2011 - 06:35