In case you've missed it, David Arquette and his wife Monica FromFriends have been having some marital problems recently. After calling into Howard Stern's show anonymously as himself (seriously, who knows who he is?) and explaining at length that his wife's poon is no longer the safe haven for his love pike that it used to be, Arquette and his close family all seem to be cracking under the pressure of a Courteney-friendly press. Let's find out what Chandler has to say when he finds out about all this eh?

Patricia Arquette, David's long suffering but equally soporific sister has now decided it's her turn to weigh in with an opinion on the couple. Of course it wouldn't be interesting unless it was Courtney Love level crazy.

Incidentally, cheers for the twitter mention yesterday Courtney, and by the way, if you stop posting every mindless, stupid rambling thought you ever have on a public forum like twitter, then we'll stop calling you an ignorant, brainless fuckup. How does that sound to you?

Anyway, back to Patricia, who said this in reply to journos asking about her bonkers bro:

"What's the worst thing you ever had happen to you? Do you ever masturbate? Have you ever had an abortion? Can you imagine these kinds of questions? Why do you think this is all right? It's not all right! Who here can live in a glass house that has made every right choice and everybody understands?"

Of course Pat seemed to have forgotten the one golden rule of being a celebrity, if you put yourself out there for the good times, you can't expect people not to be interested in the bad. Plus, schadenfreude.

In the meantime, across town David was being a little less serious about the whole deal, pretending to cry into a hankerchief at the GQ awards while explaining how cut up he was about sleeping with a pornstar:

"It's all right for a gentleman to cry," Arquette said, mock weepily. "And I promise it's not because of personal things I'm going through in my life right now."

Great family.