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Thanks for the post. Keep the great work.

bra sets

yes, i think we are!

I'd love to cover Peaches with my cream.

It's hard to find Peaches sexy at the best of times, never mind when she's wearing those pink pop socks, and trying to look alluring with what looks like the treasure island map from Pirates of the Carribean scrawled all over her leg.

Bob must be so proud.

Are we all friends again yet?

Jesus she's a fucking pig, Mr HM - even with the digital enhancement. Don't tell me you're in the Geldof pay now

I fucking love you, Meryl

What the hell have I bloody missed now?

"Nob" is the prescribed spelling for people confused by a silent "k", you illiterate waner.

This lacks granularity

She's not that unattractive, it's more her personality and sense of entitlement that grates with me. (Do PR teams think she's the "Voice/Face Of Youth" and appeals to yoof demographic somehow?). God forbid.

Anyone who makes Fearne Cotton appear to be articulate and intelligent is in big trouble.

Well I actually like the fact that she's got a normal-ish shaped body. I don't care about her face. Body's what does it.
We can't all be Megan Fox

Do try and grow up Stella sweetie x

Please can you punch Germaine Greer in the cunt for me.....I'll buy you a bag of chips to say thanks x

Pulled back. Phnar, phnar. Sorry - my work is so boring today, I am reduced to this.

The more I think about these pics (see above - not a big lesbo) the more wrong they become on so many levels. It's the age/look then the bows and coy gloves. The 'nursery' prints on the fabric. The fairground fucking setting. Her looking 'uncomfortable' as Tesco noted while I was just being critical of her less than savvy 'ness'. The fact that it's, as Tesco also pointed out, obviously aimed at young women...

"Dear Ultimo, regarding your paedo-inspired marketing launch for Peaches Geldof's new range of pornography for sad bed-sit living sex-offender registered gents..."

Off now for my two o'clock with Germaine Greer, Claire Short and Harriett Harman. (Or perhaps I'll just go out and buy some cigarettes.)

What's that then ? don't tell me the presentation is already finished ?

Agreed Stella, I think between you & Tesco I have been pulled back from the brink !

Well that went well.

.

MJ - Definitely, not maybe. Been doing this for a couple of milennium um, millenium. Milenium...? Sorry. They didn't have very good schools in the Holy Land when I were a lass.

Ah so you're one of the "posh" ones are you Tesco x

Yeah but re her body, it's not 'average' in these pics - not anymore - they were not 'happy' with it so tweaked it. And this in a way is worse than choosing a pro model. It's like forward one step, back twenty.

No, MJ, super noodles. Super noodles.

Just add a stock cube to the water once on the boil. Stir. Turn off heat and use the absorbtion method until grains tender. Rinse well in freshly boiled water. Fluffy, savoury and healthy.

Heathen.

Anyway what would you know, I thought all Northerners lived on Pot Noodle ?

Thanks for the guidance.....my eternal soul has been saved (maybe)

Before we commit to something a definite as a PowerPoint Presentation I'd like to have an informal brainstorming session where we can do some knowledge transfer and come up with an ideas base from which our project can grow organically. Otherwise we run the risk of caging our innovation and thereby not fulfilling the full potential of our embryonic creativity........

This is pretty much taken verbatim from a meeting I had recently. Fuck my life.

Shame indeed - say ten how's your fathers and hail a cab.

From a man's point of view -

1. She looks like a mong and nobody wants to fuck a 'tard
2. You can have an alright body but even when photoshopped it does not distract from your table like forehead
3. Those TEETH !!!

4. When I pissed I probably still would *the shame*

COCONUT? EURRRRRRRRRRRGH!

I hate powerpoint, can you not do a poster/collage?

I agree with almost all of what you're saying, Stella. However, I don't have a problem with her not-that-toned bod. As I've discussed before, it's good that a company in the public eye is taking an average body and using it in a high profile campaign aimed at young women. It may not be as aesthetically pleasing as Klum's bum (siiiigh) but it's a realistic image and that's never a bad thing. Unfortunate that it has to be Geldork, but them's breaks I suppose.
Also agree that if a girl looks that uncomfortable pulling 'sexy' poses, then they shouldn't be trying to make her pull 'sexy' poses. It just doesn't work and I certainly don't want to buy bras and pants from someone who doesn't look comfortable in them.
And yes, her face is weird.

bet it's got pictures of wangers on it.

I'll draw up a powerpoint presentation forthwith.

I prefer a sprinkling of desicated coconut

How about a "customer focus group" where we "round table" everybody and "blue sky" some ideas, then we can decide what the "life objectives" of the HM website are and commit to a "project gameplan" for taking HM forward in the ever evolving dynamic life-environment that is the internet......

Fuck I hate working in a cunting office.

While the boys above fight, we can take a critical eye to the truth - yes, she is naked and therefore, for some of you, that is enough to have you sitting uncomfortably. But no, no, no - she looks about 12, has a beer belly, evident despite been digitally enhanced. And has clearly never ever ever ever struck a sexy pose for her man/men in the privacy of her own boudoir. Otherwise the lingerie company would not have been reduced to using these pathetically 'uninspiring' shots - and I'm no big lesbo yet can see this. You can imagine the horror of the other pics left behind if you think these are the ones Ultimo allowed for released.

A knob of butter added to rice makes all the difference.

nob - not Knob.

an email now and again would be good. do enjoy a spirited discussion, me.

well handled, hm.

"implies" not "infers". Knob.

yes i don't care about users whatsoeverzzzzzzzzzzzz
How about I email you all in the morning, asking your opinion on what I should write about?

You will dislike somethings on here strongly, others you will agree with - for other people the exact opposite will take place. Can't please all of the people all of the time.

And for the record, I said if you squinted and stood far away and didn't look at her stupid underbitey mouth she looked alright - hardly compliment of the year - even Tanya Macintosh would!

Yes correct. I removed all the ads because i knew some twat like you would give it the old "how dare a website attempt to pay it's own way by putting adverts on it" schtick in an entirely unrelated article, just so I could have the pleasure of poitning out your stupidity. The fact that you didn't notice there weren't any ads on the site infers you don't notice when they ARE on the site, which renders your entire argument moribund. Schoolboy error.

It's a commercial website - if you don't like it - fuck off somewhere else. No, seriously, please.

that's a little bit more eloquent than 'grow up', hm.

it's a shame you don't seem to care about losing people who have followed you since the early days. it's not about brand loyalty, you said you liked peaches geldof - what are we supposed to think?

Hahaaaaaaaaaaaa, you're so right. What a terrible photo.

Well done, you've removed all the ads for a day so you can crow about there being no ads. They'll all be back tomorrow as usual then? Yep.

And there was me thinking I was the only person alive with a My Little Pony Tattoo. Drat.

Pic 4 - how in the name of God did that get past the picture editor/marketing director/or even off the photographer's computer as being deemed in anyway erotic and good for business? Looks like she is holding in a shit.

which ads would they be then?

Hello Hey you, thanks for your 'comments' Not sure which corporation you are referring to? Articles have nothing to do with MTV - why on earth would they? Also unseemlydogthingy- there isn't one single advert on the site at the moment, so not entirely sure what you are whinging about. I'm entitled to my opinion, which currently thinks you're a bit of a naive twat x

As ever, I'm happy to offer full refunds to any unsatisf... oh.

you old romantic, you.

Perhaps Mr HM is just all loved up or something. Always makes a person see the good in mankind I find. Or like you say, alternatively, he has gone to the dark side...

absobloodylutely. wouldn't have anything to do with a forthcoming MTV venture or the ever increasing amounts of advertising would it?

any web site that pitches a gurning bellend like matt edmondson in a positive light is surely in swift decline.

I'm amazed you can even load these pages any more with all the fucking ads for corporate shite. HM sellout fuck.

I would gladly throw one up her

I agree, I had comments removed about "Jedward" the other day.....where's the life ? where's the hatred ? and where's the fun ???

Oh and those tattoo's look like the kind me and my mates used to draw on each other with bic biro's when we were 12.....still at least they distract from her Shergar-like face

Seriously HM, in the last week or so I have seen 'articles' from you which seem vaguely positive about some of these grasping people. The very people that you have spent so many years slagging off and for fucks sake whatever happened to your supposed dislike of celebrities.

And now you like, even in a strange way Peaches Geldof. And I see you now think Kate Moss is a great and you think those fucking twins are doing oh so fucking well.

Basically, you are sucking corporate cock and I hope you choke on the cum.