Holy Moly went to Pixar Studios for a day. We got to see how Cars 2 was made. And we met John Lasseter and asked him questions. And then we ran around like we were seven years old, and nearly cried when we had to leave and say goodbye to the life-size Sully by the door. Because Pixar is everything you’d ever want it to be and then some, and if the team weren’t so nice we’d suspect they were in a cult (they eat, drink, sleep, breathe Pixar). Here’s the film we made about it...

Disney.Pixar's Cars 2 is in cinemas from July 22. Every frame of it will have you marveling at just how clever some human beings are.

 

They call it two-screen TV, in dreadful media company meetings: watching telly and then reading someone going on about it on the Internet, at exactly the same time. Join our Eurovision correspondant Becca, as she gets steadily pissed watching Blue lose this annual cavalcade of absolute rubbish. Literally anything could happen. Dear god, we hope it does...

16:00 Helloooo moles! Becca here, just doing my stretches in preparation for tonight's festivities. By stretches, I mean that I just went to the shops and bought enough gin and tonic to keep the average auntie soused for at least a whole family wedding. Let's face it, it's the only way I'll get through Eurovision without old Wogan, and everything is much more fun drunk (except water-skiing, I'd imagine)

 

We know we wrote about Duran Duran a couple of weeks ago. But it seems everyone was so pleased with the gushing and over-excited praise we gave their current live show (they really are back Back! BACK!) that they've paid for us to go to see them play in actual Los Angeles, for a gig to be filmed by the actual David Lynch as part of the Amex 'Unstaged' concert series! So you'll understand if we feel the need to blog about it, pretty much minute by minute. Which is what we're going to do here...

So there's nothing to tell you yet as it's 8:58am and we're sitting in the scarily trendy The Standard hotel, in our pants, watching The Lonliness of the Long Distance Runner on TV (it's true, American telly is better than ours).

But, if you come back here at 2am (UK time) or, more realistically, when you wake up tomorrow. We'll give you a canapé by canapé acount of the proceedings.

 

And, and, and...

 

There was a full moon in Paris over the weekend as Rihanna bent over to hop inside her waiting car wearing a see-through dress and a thong...

Rihanna was joined by Katy Perry, both looking as though they were sharing a single brain cell between them, on the front row of Karl Lagerfield's ready to wear Spring/Summer 2010 collection.

And Katy managed to drag herself away from new lover Russell Brand, who she'd spent the last three days holed up with at his Hampstead home, to leave him behind in London. 

So it was just the one arse on show (sorry)...

Jack Tweed's hand seems to have swelled to over double its normal size from what we can only assume must be grief. Jack, leaving the St Martin's Hotel in the early hours with a mystery blonde lady, held his giant hand in the air to show his distress before it inevitably weighed him down. We decided to call someone who could possibly become a doctor, on behalf of Tweed, to see if it is indeed possible for a bereft hand to swell and what, if anything, can be done to reduce the size.

Our 'doctor' said the following:

"It is not possible for a hand to swell from grief, unless the grief has caused heart failure. The main possible reasons for the swelling could be an infection, heart failure, trauma, or he was born like that."

They couldn't confirm whether excessive partying in Faeces nightclub could cure such an infliction but get well soon Jack...

We just got this amazing story from a mole... "Ten years ago Jerry Springer was in Nashville with his daughter and went to a Billy Ray Cyrus concert. Billy Ray invited him backstage then said...

... 'Come back and meet my wife, dude.' Jerry and his daughter went...which turned out to mean a 45 minute drive to Cyrus HQ. When they get to a weird house in the middle of the mountains, they find baby Miley playing with toys in the living room.

So Billy Ray asks Jerry is he wants to go for a ride and turns up with a motorbike and a four-wheeler.

Springer Jr has to babysit the future Miss Montana as Billy Ray leads Jerry up to the top of a mountain where he has a teepee and totem pole...

The Danielle Lloyd story just got a whole lot more interesting. Early reports suggest Danielle was the victim of a vicious, unprovoked attack. Not so, says our eyewitness...

Speaking exclusively to Holy Moly, our mole had this to say:

"I feel annoyed that two girls have been charged with GBH for a fight that they didn't start and she's probably going to get away with it.

Danielle spent the whole evening at her table at the centre of the club all over her guy completely drunk. They were with two other couples who were equally as drunk.

Keira Knightley has decided she doesn't much like her last name and would much prefer that of her boyfriend, Klaxons keyboardist James Righton, so is going to get married to him. Hurrah?

Of course, we wouldn't expect you just to take our word for it, so here's a statement from her spokeswoman: 

"I can confirm that Keira is engaged to be married to James Righton."

See, we told you. Umm. Not a huge amount left to say really. Maybe they'll do it on a boat. Yeah, that's our guess, they'll do it on a boat. In winter. Next year. MARK OUR WORDS. Or don't. Completely up to you. OR IS IT? It is.

Bill Murray's new film is called Hyde Park on Hudson and is about the King and Queen of England (that's here!) visiting US president FDR in 1939. Bill Murray plays FDR, and by the looks of it, this is not supposed to be a funny film. Maybe Murray's just sick of not having an Oscar and feels this is his way in.

Either way, we'll watch it because it's got Bill Murray in, but we'll be on tenterhooks the whole time waiting for a joke that's not coming. Sounds awful.

So, to celebrate a Bill Murray film we don't really want to watch, here's a selection of clips from his five most unwatchable films. 

FUN FACT: Garfield was so bad, we couldn't actually find Bill talking about it, except in Zombieland, another of his films, so we've used a clip from that. We're not saying Zombieland is bad (although it kind of was, even with Emma Stone in). 

We hadn't looked at Alex Reid's Twitter before, but it's basically him saying stupid things, people calling him stupid, and then him threatening to punch their lights out.

Recently, as you may remember from that article you weren't interested in earlier on this week, a very pregnant Chantelle Houghton moved out of her house with Alex Reid because he'd done something really really awful. Genuinely could have been anything. Anyway, the Daily Mail wrote about it and that made Alex furious, almost as furious as that time they gave his shithouse new show coverage.

When a man and a woman love each other very much, they express than love by directing jets of wee-wee onto each other’s faces, boobs and genitals. Sometimes they film this beautiful act of affection, and there is nothing wrong with daddy watching these films in the privacy of his own study. We don’t think The Paperboy, starring Nicole Kidman, Zac Efron, Matthew McConaughey and John Cusack is one of those films. But there is a scene where Nicole pisses on Zac’s bare chest. So we’re going to go on about it, as if it’s the entire plot of the movie.

We haven’t seen The Paperboy, what with it only premiering at Cannes Film Festival last night (May 24) but as far as we can make out it’s based on a novel by Peter Dexter and concerns two brothers (Efron and McConaughey) who are convinced that a death row prisoner (Cusack) is innocent, because Nicole Kidman tells them he is. Or rather, the lady that Nicole Kidman is pretending to be for the film. Otherwise that would be weird.

Britney's rider for the new series of X Factor has found its way onto the internet and it's basically what you'd expect from a seriously overweight teenage gamer moonlighting as a wealthy single mother.

Chances are it's actually for Britney's entourage rather than the batty singer herself, but logic and reason have no place here on HM, so we're going to assume that not only is it for Britney, but that each item is actually a code for mind altering drugs. See if you can guess which ones:

After Geri Haliwell clambered on top of a car at the start of the X Factor auditions in Liverpool, in Austin, Texas it was a far more low-key affair. There were no 'X' arm gestures, in fact there was barely any sign of emotion at all except for Britney's horrible laughing face. Simon will have to put a stop to that.

You'd think with all of her stylists and grooming, someone would say: "Wow Britney, you look really horrible when you laugh, don't do that."

Well this caught us all by surprise. A new Kylie single and a new Kylie video. And when we say "surprise", we mean we knew she was making a video for a song called Timebomb, we just didn't know we were going to see it today. Any way, it's a bit confusing and looks like bits of three different videos. And we don't really understand what's going on. But we'll try...

We open with Kylie doing one of those videos that basically requires her to dance about in a room for half an hour. She's made a few of those, hasn't she?

This one is clearly being directed by Newton Faulkner.

These days when the biggest bands in the world are talking about charity and their healthy diet (thanks Chris Martin), we need a band to step up and lead by drinking-to-excess example, cue The Saturdays.

Vanessa White and the prince-pounding Mollie King were out on the lash. Vanessa got so drunk that she walked into a photographer when she got out of her car! Oh Vanessa, you maniac! Meanwhile Una Healey was carrying around a baby.

Cannes hosted the amfAR Cinema Against AIDS gala last night, with a few of cinema's stars, but mainly fashion's stars in attendance. Jessie J tried to steal the limelight by showing off as much of her leg and arse as she could. Did she steal the limelight? No, she didn't steal the limelight.

The full list of (photo-worthy) attendees, in no particular order, are Adrien Brody, Aishwarya Rai, Alec Baldwin, Anja Rubik, Berenice Bejo, Boris Becker, Cara Delevingne, Diane Kruger, Doutzen Kroes, Eva Herzigova, Georgina Chapman, Hilaria Thomas, Irina Shayk, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Joely Richardson, Joshua Jackson, Julianna Margulies, Karolina Kurkova, Kate Upton, Kelly Rutherford, Kim Kardashian, Kirsten Dunst, Kylie Minogue, Lady Victoria Hervey, Lilly Becker, Lily Donaldson, Michelle Rodriguez, Milla Jovovich, Paris Hilton, Petra Nemcova, Rose McGowan, Sky Ferreira, Tamara Eccleston

Can you believe that Big Brother 2012 starts on June 5? That's literally days away. And we've got the first pictures taken from inside the series 13 house. A BB "insider" tells us the paint wasn't even dry yesterday - that's how fresh and new these pics are. The bedrooms look way to neon to sleep in. Kind of a pimp/burlesque theme going on. But wait a second, where's the kitchen?

Yeah, it's a worry. No kitchen. How are they going to cook stuff? Is that the first task? Build an AGA?

No it isn't. The kitchen is now tucked round the corner in what was previously the bath and showeroom (the one that only ever seemed to be used for dicking about or sulking in). There's a long marble effect dining table in there too. We say "effect" it might be real marble. We don't know. We're not bloody Kevin McCloud.

Not strictly a trailer, more of an unclear four-minute live-action short film for THQ's Metro: Last Light. Due to our inability to speak Russian, it's not very obvious what it's all about.

So, to help making things slightly less murky, it's set in 2034 post-apocalyptic Moscow, in the tunnels of their metro where mutants roam among the 'station cities' who are set to start a civil war, in a bid to get their hands on a miltary doomsday device.

With everyone in Cannes or on holiday, London was in a sorry state of affairs last night. After all Thursday is the new Friday, but Wednesday is the new Monday, so what can you do?

Having said that we can treat you to Jessica Jane Clement's puppies and Chace Crawford all hot and sweaty.

Outside Novikov, an autograph-hunter absolutely flipped her lid and with wild eyed excitement at the sight of Russell Crowe and Cuba Gooding Jr, she went and tried to get an autograph from the pair, only to be told to 'rack off' (or equally stereotypical colloquialism) by Russell because she was ruining their picture opportunity for the paps.

Cheryl Cole is down in the dumps right now because no matter what she does or says, everyone keeps calling her a silly twat. Seemingly she didn't realise that her appearance on X Factor was the only thing her non-gay non-teenage fans were interested in, and as a result is reportedly heartbroken that people don't actually care about her music, her charity work, or even her controversial thoughts about domestic violence. Some have made an exception for her calendar, but not many.

But now we'll all be sorry. Now we'll wish we hadn't been so hard on the Empress of Pointless Jobs. Do you remember last year when Simon Cowell, as a joke for his new American TV pals, pretended to give her a job on the US X Factor, only to take it away at the last moment? Do you remember how upset she was? Do you remember that sinking feeling when you thought we thought we'd got her back for good?

For such a chubby chap, Mario is surprisingly good at the the whole sports thing. It seems that the plumber has tried his hand at just about every competition sport under the sun, from Football to Fencing, from Baseball to Bobsled. But it seems that Nintendo have run out of sports that they can get a bloke in a red hat and his band of merry men to take part in, so they’re revisiting an old favourite  - Tennis.

Of course, you shouldn’t really expect realism in a game where a green dinosaur plays a few sets against the Turtle King. There are a few different Mario-esque tweaks to the game that make it unique, such as the chance spaces, which when stood on, will super-charge your next shot, and the various Mushroom Kingdom themed courts, which offer different ball speed and bounce heights.

Saint Etienne has a new album out called Words and Music By Saint Etienne. It’s about music. More specifically it’s about a lifetime lived to music, in music, obsessed with music, talking about it, thinking about it, buying it, watching it, dancing to it and making it… We had a chat in a pub with Bob Stanley and Pete Wiggs (who ran onto the pitch in the closing minutes). What did we talk about? What else…

Hello Bob. When we were at school, one of our teachers told us our love for pop music was just a phase. But if anything, we’re more obsessed with it now than we were then. Should we have grown out of it by now?

Bob Stanely: “No, it would be like growing out of painting, or something! No, of course not. There’s always more to discover.

Yesterday, Cannes saw the premiere for On The Road, the film with 55 years, and millions of people's expectations riding on it. A film hasn't seen such anticipation since Weekend At Bernie's 2.

Most of Cannes turned out for the premiere including the cast Viggo Mortensen, Kirsten Dunst, Tom Sturridge, Sam Riley and Kristen Stewart. Also at the premiere, to claim it's not as good as the book, were Bonnie Wright, Lady Victoria Hervey, Robert Pattinson, Danny Morgan, Ewan McGregor, Eve Mavrakis.

This is pretty mind-blowing. Follow the instructions in the video and discover the delights of the Flashed Face Distortion Effect, something discovered by some clever undergraduate in America.

It's the optical illusion created when two faces are placed next to each other with a gap in between, with their eyes on the same horizontal level. Keep your eye on the cross and get completely freaked out by Sean Penn looking like John Merrick.

It's fair to say John Travolta has had a rough month. I feel almost offended that he hasn't asked me to massage his glutes whilst wearing football shorts with no pants underneath (little detail I added myself there). Is he gay? Is Kelly Preston a beard? Does the Church Of Scientology steal all his money and encourage him to not treat his poorly child with proper medicine resulting in him dying, in exchange for not revealing his homosexuality?

Like his choice of hairpieces, John Travolta's PR has always been utterly dreadful. In his mind he is precisely 63% cooler than he actually is, which makes him look creepy and odd whilst his movie career is now due it's THIRD reinvention (Pulp Fiction was a terrifying 18 years ago!). 

There are people allowed to drink legally who will know nothing about John Travolta other than him being an actor who wanks off masseurs. That's quite depressing isn't it?

These are the two most recent Dark Knight Rises trailers and they both focus on two aspects of the film: a) Batman seems to be being pulled out of retirement, and b) Something very bad is going to happen to Batman. We're actually quite interested to see, once we've watched the film, how much of it has been spoiled by all these teasers and trailers and posters. 

As you’ll know by now, the recently reunited Stone Roses played a surprise free gig last night (May 23) at Warrington Parr Hall. Most people on that Twitter seemed to think it was great, even if Ian Brown’s vocals were a bit dodgy (well it wouldn’t be a Stone Roses gig if they weren’t). But if you were expecting YouTube to be awash with fanshot HD footage then dream on. King Monkey had a big old go at everyone holding their phones in the air. They didn’t do that in 1996.

Liam Gallagher was there, obviously. He even done a tweet about it, saying: “Speechless...LG”.

We spoke to one fan, who was lucky enough to attend, who told us:

“Yeah man, nice one. Fookin ‘ave it! You know what I mean? Our kid! Sorted.”

He’s from Harrogate.

Apparently security were confiscating recording equipment left right and centre, but the whole thing was captured by Shane Meadows for his Roses film so, you’ll see it eventually.

Here’s what they played: