In news as about as shocking as Alex Reid flying into the jungle to propose to Katie Price only to be dumped on live TV, and probably arousing about as much sympathy, Pete Doherty has announced that his heart stopped and that he had to be placed on a life support machine last month...

Pete announced the real reason he cancelled his solo tour in Northern Ireland (poor ticket sales?) and claimed it his hospitalisation was nothing to do with drug abuse.

He said:

"If I hadn't been on a life support machine I'd have been in Ireland. But my heart stopped. 

"It was a really strange turn of events. Obviously, the doctors' immediate thought was that it was to do with drugs but it wasn't - it was some kind of poisoning"

'Poisining', a bit like Alex Reid's 'business meetings'?

He added:

"What happened? Well, I don't know, I don't remember. At the time I thought I was a taxi driver offering to take everyone to Elephant And Castle. I was running into the walls, making steering wheel signs with my hands. And then I just... stopped. My body just stopped."

We can't make head nor tail of that bit, so we'll just ignore it. And put it down to the 'poisining'.

After being kept under observation for a few days, he was released with the all-clear from doctors.

"I've always had a slight dickie heart, I was born with it. I'm fragile in there, you know?"

Well, let's just hope it's all better for next month...