Pippa Middleton offered £3million to star in porn film, world holds breath

Oh, isn't it jolly! What smashing idea!

She could be royally screwed

Mon, 09/05/2011 - 12:36 by John Hill

This particular story has put us in a bit of a bind. After all, we love pornography, albeit only if it's artistically done, like when it's filmed in the back of a bus, or in on a casting couch, but when it's a member of the royal family appearing buck naked, wilding thrashing about with some tax-paying commoner? Too many emotions to deal with at once. Shame, arousal, anger, fear, hopelessness, curiosity and possibly even confusion (depending on the camerawork). A bit like Baking Made Easy actually.

Still, back to the topic at hand, and what's even worse is that it looks like it could be someone from one of the colonies gently careessing the future Queen's sister. We're sure you'd like that though, wouldn't you America? Sticking it to the mother country one last time before we all crumble into dust under the might of the oriental juggernaut, eh? Well. We simply won't let it happen. Not for less than $10million. That's our final offer.

Anyway, here's what Steve Hirsch of Vivid Entertainment had to say to Pippa in a letter he sealed with a kiss (and hopefully just a kiss):

"As far as I was concerned, you were the star of the recent Royal Wedding.

"As I watched a broadcast of the event I couldn't help but think that with your beauty and attitude you could be an enormously successful adult star.

"For just one explicit scene I would be pleased to offer you $5 million USD and, of course, you would have a choice of partners.

"If you would like to bring your brother James along, he could appear in a separate scene for $1 million USD.

"I hope you will give this offer serious consideration and I look forward to hearing from you."

Shame on you Steve Hirsch, shame on you.

Celebrity Sex, Pippa Middleton pictures, Pippa Middleton

Comments

Money is not what this lady after, she got everything she wanted and more so all she has to do is sit and enjoy all the offers being throw at her
stormforce Tue, 10/05/2011 - 10:52
No they haven't, I had the misfortune to be taken to the Henley Regatta last year and I can honestly say I would rather spend the rest of my life trapped in a lift with the entire cast of The Only Way Is Essex than do 5 more minutes surrounded by those jumped up posh cuntrags.
The Rev Jesse Custer Tue, 10/05/2011 - 10:05
Hooray Henrys are a very strange breed. I'd never seen one til I got to university. They all wore brogues, cords and speckly jumpers and had pink cheeks. Though times have probably changed a bit since the nineties....
shitthebed Tue, 10/05/2011 - 08:49
Ben Dover's the man for the job,keep it British,but then Pascal's Belgian - shit
arthurport Mon, 09/05/2011 - 18:43
I think she might have considered it pre-wedding. Don't forget this is the daughter of the mother who chose Jermaine Stewart's "We don't have to take our clothes off" as part of the post-wedding knees up. So it says it all really. Buncha pervs.
PuddyTwat Mon, 09/05/2011 - 17:18
I'd pay to watch her get rumped by a commoner
gobenji Mon, 09/05/2011 - 13:53
This Hirsch guy - who the shitting hell does he think he is, the amateur. Surely he realises he has to come through the agent and in Pippa The Rippa's case that's ME! It's £4m for a nosh, £5m for a nosh and a punch up the whiskers and £10m for all the above and a fruity Pavlova - now stuff your £3m up your arse and fuck off whilst you are doing it!
jiggerycock Mon, 09/05/2011 - 13:00

This Hirsch guy - who the shitting hell does he think he is, the amateur. Surely he realises he has to come through the agent and in Pippa The Rippa's case that's ME! It's £4m for a nosh, £5m for a nosh and a punch up the whiskers and £10m for all the above and a fruity Pavlova - now stuff your £3m up your arse and fuck off whilst you are doing it!
jiggerycock Mon, 09/05/2011 - 13:00
I'd pay to watch her get rumped by a commoner
gobenji Mon, 09/05/2011 - 13:53
I think she might have considered it pre-wedding. Don't forget this is the daughter of the mother who chose Jermaine Stewart's "We don't have to take our clothes off" as part of the post-wedding knees up. So it says it all really. Buncha pervs.
PuddyTwat Mon, 09/05/2011 - 17:18
Ben Dover's the man for the job,keep it British,but then Pascal's Belgian - shit
arthurport Mon, 09/05/2011 - 18:43
Hooray Henrys are a very strange breed. I'd never seen one til I got to university. They all wore brogues, cords and speckly jumpers and had pink cheeks. Though times have probably changed a bit since the nineties....
shitthebed Tue, 10/05/2011 - 08:49
No they haven't, I had the misfortune to be taken to the Henley Regatta last year and I can honestly say I would rather spend the rest of my life trapped in a lift with the entire cast of The Only Way Is Essex than do 5 more minutes surrounded by those jumped up posh cuntrags.
The Rev Jesse Custer Tue, 10/05/2011 - 10:05
Money is not what this lady after, she got everything she wanted and more so all she has to do is sit and enjoy all the offers being throw at her
stormforce Tue, 10/05/2011 - 10:52