After ten years at the helm of his own television programme, several oscar nominated films and a face that you just want to hug and kiss and smell, we have absolutely no...IT'S LEE  RYAN AND HE'S TALKING ABOUT SEX IN A CREEPY WAY. WHAT A HUGE SURPRISE. WE TRICKED YOU. HAHA.

That's what happens when you carefully count the number of characters in the intro on the front page. You must be thrilled to know you're in such good hands. Perhaps next week we'll fill the bottom half of a picture with penises and swastikas (the two most offensive things known to man), and you'll only see them when you actually go into the article, rendering the front page completely Safe For Work! Brilliant.

Anyway, as the Eurovision approaches Blue have for some reason decided to let Lee Ryan speak unmonitored to Closer magazine, which is of course terrible news for the boys (who recently performed at G.A.Y. Amazing pics) but wonderful news for anyone who thinks he's the closest thing we'll ever get to a reptile shrew without spitting in the face of God (never forget Jurassic Park guys). Which is everyone.

"I'd love to do porn. I would! I think I'd be great. I'd be brilliant. I wouldn't stop though, that's the hard thing about being a porn star."

 

"There's lots to be jealous of in this industry - we're surrounded by beautiful women,"

 

"I've been with people in the industry and not - and they both suck. It's just I haven't had one great relationship - every relationship I've had has been shit."

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, Lee Ryan still unable to comprehend there's one weak link in all his relationships that he hasn't yet considered. He's probably right though, it's much more likely to be the women's fault. Stupid, stupid, stupid women, eh Lee? Stupid.

Stupid.