It's difficult to know where to start with all this stuff.

You could tell Alex was a rough shag just by looking at him, which, after Peter Andre's obvious butterfly kisses and missionary (Doggy every third Wednesday folks!) - Katie was probably desperate for someone to just GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT PLEASE.

Still, there's being tied to the bed with a dressing gown cord and then there's , well... this. The only person who loses out with this twat being around grabbing every last pap pic, freebie and walk on parts is Katie Price - who is on a fast track to complete career destruction by proxy.

Remember when a few years ago everyone said "Oh, she's not stupid after all - with all that money and those deals she comes across as a really empowered businesswoman who's having the last laugh at those idiots that pay £20 for an autograph".

Turns out we were right first time - she's thick as mince.

I've put these pics in the order that the scene plays out - see if you can try and get a sense of how events unravel without hearing the dialogue.

Warning! these pictures contain a large penis - who then gets his cock out.

Share

WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

• Katie Price to sell edible toddler make-up, daughter as cover girl
• Katie Price and Alex Reid surprisingly decide to sell their next wedding for £1million
• Katie Price brings a touch of class and dignity to the Dublin VIP awards
• Katie Price claims she's friends with Victoria Beckham, Victoria Beckham denies it
• Oscars 2010: Elton John's after party pulls in big Hollywood names - and Katie Price