So much so he is actually turning into one.

That attack by Rebekah Wade? A cover story to mask the fact she hit him between the eyes with a meat cleaver in order to create a Japeye in the middle of his head and thus rendering it even more glans-like.

Excellent (laughs)
Why, if I didn't know better, I could be forgiven for thinking he likes a bit of willy. But that would be wrong m'lud. Obviously.

i seem to have joined late! but heres my 2 cents worth if HM has the nads to leave it! the story goes like this she got home and he was at home but not alone? at this point i resist the urge to breakout into its rainin men by the weather girls!

Like Alan Turing at Bletchley Park, I believe I've cracked your code: do you mean he's absolutely mad for the cock?

Well if the soldiers of the Royal Anglian Regiment (who he went to Afghanistan with) are telling me the truth, he didn't apply the "consider using a beard to fit in" advice as enthusiastically as he does at home. If you know what I mean.

"We're thinking of changing the name, to, The Titz."

One trick pony slapheaded cunt. Got what he deserved marrying the editor of the NOTW who was also a GUAR. Twat

Frying pan/fire, pandakiller?

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Guru Meditation:
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Varnish

Suck my big fat sweaty hairy 'king of rock 'n roll' balls!!!

Johnny Allen tried to kill him too when he returned from Brazil. Him and Ruby - went to a big fackin drum in the country in a jam jar with a boot full of Shreddies, then Phil goes to Grant - "Grant - lets get that slag Johnny Allen." Grant goes to Phil "Yeah." Off they goes in a big Range Rover - come up all geezer at this big old drum. Phil's got a shooter. It jams.. (Cont'd P94).

Yeah - and Wellard once shat in his brogues too. Kemp enjoyed it. I have proof.

Yes that's right. Her name is Rebekah Wade.

Have you seen kempfolds? It's great. I can't remember whether it was popbitch or HM that covered it in a mailout a while back, but it's great.

My guess is the lady in question is someone from his production staff who already has a 'other half' and she stupidly thought going out for some posh nosh with Ross and a bit of chokey chicken or similar later on would be on the QT. Not likely dear. Mind you Ross is fine by me considering the old tellyban try to kill him when over in Heroinland..

I see the lady in question in picture 4 is already set for the evening.

Didn't the editor of the sun (locally known as the missus) beat him up one time?

any british squaddie on leave is entitled to let his hair down upon finding his battle-weary feet back on the beloved soil of the mother country.

There were about 10 of them in his party. He was filming series 1 of Ross Kemp on Gangbangs to be broadcast on Sky 8 in the Spring.