Russell Brand and Katy Perry announce engagement, it'll never last

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Russell Brand and Katy Perry engaged

A Very Short Engagement

Wed, 06/01/2010 - 11:25 by HM writer

Love's young dream (no, not Andy Scott-Lee and Michelle Heaton - they got divorced remember?) Russell Brand and Katy Perry have just announced that they're engaged to be wed after just three and a half months together…

Which is almost three months longer than we predict their marriage will last. The couple, who have been carrying on as if they just invented love and as though we've never witnessed it before, broke the news in a text message to The Sun. Even though we thought that's what their Twitter pages were created for.

Brand texted:

"It's true. Much love."

Apparently Brand proposed to Perry during a spiritual ceremony in India on New Year's Eve, during which a love guru blessed their relationship. And if that's not enough to make you lose your breakfast and the will to live, the pair travelled to a tent of a Jaipur mountain, a Christmas gift from Brand to Perry, (which sounds only slightly worse than the robotic zoo he was said to have bought her for her 25th birthday last year) where he surprised the singer with an engagement ring as the clock struck midnight on NYE.

Although it can't have been too much of a surprise, as it had been reported that Brand was shopping for a diamond ring in Cartier a few weeks ago (although at least he managed to leave with just the ring and not the number of the woman who served him this time).

But all cynicism aside, we wish them the best of luck. (Having said that, we've also just bet our entire life savings that it'll ll be over by 2011). Congratulations, Russell and Katy Brand!! (*Sniggers*)

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Comments

I have some hope for their engagement, they seem like a really good fit to me. I read that he gave he a really lovely yellow diamond ring. I wish my boyfriend would do that for me.
AliceWonderland Tue, 21/09/2010 - 21:48
I hope she gets him to wash his hair.
whatthe. Thu, 07/01/2010 - 18:19
I like these two. I'd eagerly trade bodily fluids with Miss Perry (though I'd leave it a week or two and ensure she had several hot showers to remove any trace of Branding) and I think our Russell is doing well in his role as the anti-chav... he has a vocabulary which is so lacking in our dumbed down society and he's not afraid to use the word "cunt" on the telly if it is appropriate.

The fact that he's been banned from the BBC and MTV a few times only serves to raise his credibility, he dances to his own tune and you have to respect that.

It would be nice if they did settle down and live happily ever after.

But being a showbiz coupling hounded by pap scum wherever they go, it's not looking good for the long term...
pandakiller Thu, 07/01/2010 - 12:06
and her bum is even better than her baps
fuckwit Wed, 06/01/2010 - 17:07
Unfunny cunt and tuneless bint need desperate publicity shocker
Blartmonster Wed, 06/01/2010 - 16:49
Getting married is a has-been's way to advertise. Has Brand got anything left? The only shocking thing a 'rebel' can do is to conform. With Brand it's all an act. Once married, he'll divorce and he'll see himself as that little bit harder. He should shack up with Robbie. Each one can be the other one's beard, sorry 'flatmate'.
PuddyTwat Wed, 06/01/2010 - 16:12
Well given that she is UBER (ahem) religious, perhaps this is just a desperate attempt from Brand to have a go on her baps?
guineapig Wed, 06/01/2010 - 15:17
She has great baps and he is sort of funny.

Congrats to them both.
grange Wed, 06/01/2010 - 14:41
That Yank is trying hard to look "ubber" cool - she still has the class of an American sausage I'd say. What a ridiculous outfit: who said the mustard hat was a must?
kermits Wed, 06/01/2010 - 14:11

That Yank is trying hard to look "ubber" cool - she still has the class of an American sausage I'd say. What a ridiculous outfit: who said the mustard hat was a must?
kermits Wed, 06/01/2010 - 14:11
She has great baps and he is sort of funny.

Congrats to them both.
grange Wed, 06/01/2010 - 14:41
Well given that she is UBER (ahem) religious, perhaps this is just a desperate attempt from Brand to have a go on her baps?
guineapig Wed, 06/01/2010 - 15:17
Getting married is a has-been's way to advertise. Has Brand got anything left? The only shocking thing a 'rebel' can do is to conform. With Brand it's all an act. Once married, he'll divorce and he'll see himself as that little bit harder. He should shack up with Robbie. Each one can be the other one's beard, sorry 'flatmate'.
PuddyTwat Wed, 06/01/2010 - 16:12
Unfunny cunt and tuneless bint need desperate publicity shocker
Blartmonster Wed, 06/01/2010 - 16:49
and her bum is even better than her baps
fuckwit Wed, 06/01/2010 - 17:07
I like these two. I'd eagerly trade bodily fluids with Miss Perry (though I'd leave it a week or two and ensure she had several hot showers to remove any trace of Branding) and I think our Russell is doing well in his role as the anti-chav... he has a vocabulary which is so lacking in our dumbed down society and he's not afraid to use the word "cunt" on the telly if it is appropriate.

The fact that he's been banned from the BBC and MTV a few times only serves to raise his credibility, he dances to his own tune and you have to respect that.

It would be nice if they did settle down and live happily ever after.

But being a showbiz coupling hounded by pap scum wherever they go, it's not looking good for the long term...
pandakiller Thu, 07/01/2010 - 12:06
I hope she gets him to wash his hair.
whatthe. Thu, 07/01/2010 - 18:19
I have some hope for their engagement, they seem like a really good fit to me. I read that he gave he a really lovely yellow diamond ring. I wish my boyfriend would do that for me.
AliceWonderland Tue, 21/09/2010 - 21:48