Congratulations to Russell Brand and Katy Perry, who tied the knot yesterday after only a year - but what feels like ten - together. And not like us to be joy-sucking, cynical beasts, but how long should we give it 'til it all goes down the drain?

No one actually knows a single detail about the wedding, apart from the fact there were a couple of rings involved and the words "I do" were repeated on more than one occasion. However, here's what their spokesperson had to say:

"Russell Brand and Katy Perry are overjoyed to confirm that they were pronounced Mr. and Mrs. Brand on Saturday, October 23. The very private and spiritual ceremny, attented by the couples' closest family and friends were performed by a Christian minister and longtime friend of the Hudson family. The backdrop was the inspirational and majestic countryside of Northern India."

But despite all the hush, there's a long list of rumours about how the private ceremony went down, such as:

Brand led the marriage procession mounted on a horse surrounded by camels and elephants, the couple walked around a fire while the priest chanted mantras, entertainment was provided by fire eaters and snake charmers and guests included Noel Gallagher, Morrisey, Rihanna and P Diddy.

Just your average wedding then.

Our first piece of advice to the married couple? Take as long as you want on your honeymoon... perferably forever.