In today's news to both shock and surprise, 50-year-old Sean Penn apparently likes his reported girlfriend Scarlett Johansson so much he'd like to marry her. Imagine that - that crazy fool.

Considering the couple aren't even confirmed - and that this news comes from the National Enquirer, we'll deem it as likely as Johansson wedding us at Westminster Abbey tomorrow, but this is what the alleged source said:

"Scarlett says every day with Sean is an education equivalent to a college course – he’s so worldly and knowledgeable.

“She knows she married Ryan way too fast, but insists she’s a quick learner. Even though marriage seems to be on Sean’s mind and he’s pushing things a little fast, Scarlett’s doing her best to hold him off at the pass.”

She's not doing a very good job in this new Mango photoshop. Johansson, you tease.