Enough with the vampires already
Thu, 17/06/2010 - 11:31 by Mr. HM

A million focus groups set up by a million calculating PR companies spent a million hours trying to come up with the definitive event set to generate a stampede of miserable looking teenagers with balls like spacehoppers running to the nearest toilet.

And what did they come up with..?

Two words.

1) TITS

2) ZOMBIES

To be honest, I haven't got a clue what a Zombie pageant is - apart from an excuse for Camden women to cover themselves in fake blood, get their tits out and pretend they're from Bon Temps so that Vampire Bill and Edward Cullen are going to make them airtight.

They aren't famous and the only celebrities involved in this story are the ones i've shamelessly shoehorned into the last paragraph. Who are you? My Mother? (Hi mum). Needless to say some of the pictures are not safe for work, unless you work for the Torture Garden.

  • Pic 12 - love, you want to get your zombie belly down to the fucking gym

    Pic 13 - I don't think zombies take time out from eating human flesh to have a swift fag, dear

    Pic 14 - Is he a fucking zombie panda or what?

    Pic 16 - what the fuck is the big titted one doing with tea bags over her nips???

    koshmar Fri, 18/06/2010 - 02:30
  • Mmmmm........ I was wondering what had happened to Tatou...... now I know.
    Clearly growing up in Chernobyl has taken its toll.......

    Pic 19-22...... Why did they have to exhume Leigh Bowery for their tacky pageant?

    And why is Nadine Coyle hosting this event?

    Tra la la.....

    whothehellamiagain Thu, 17/06/2010 - 20:40
  • It's usually extra. But for you, all in the same price.

    stella ah trois Thu, 17/06/2010 - 16:20
  • really? cor.

    Lousybosomsdisplease Thu, 17/06/2010 - 15:33
  • Yeah. I get that quite a lot.

    stella ah trois Thu, 17/06/2010 - 15:11
  • actually i was going for a shit.

    Lousybosomsdisplease Thu, 17/06/2010 - 15:07
  • My pleasure. Credit my PayPal account when you get back, will you?

    stella ah trois Thu, 17/06/2010 - 14:59
  • like mount vesuvius except loaded with great gouts of searing hot spunk.

    just of to the loo, back in a tick.

    Lousybosomsdisplease Thu, 17/06/2010 - 14:51
  • Ah, not big. Just perfect really. I don't have to shop at Bravissimo or whatever it's called. But they are soft like pillows. A handful, if you have the manly hands to contain them. Yet not droopy at all. In profile, when aroused, and I look up and as I arch my back, that little lift of the nipples as they reach up almost of their own volition, as if towards an expectant mouth, is particularly appealing, I am told. When my nipples go erect it is as if my whole body is tightening into a state where I can only, only take one journey, one journey to one place. And it won't be with you, you fucking pervert. How big's your cock? :)

    stella ah trois Thu, 17/06/2010 - 14:31
  • perfect excuse, if indeed one is required, for the inhabitants of north london to behave like the massive, massive cunts they are.

    edit: how is the girl in pic one a zombie?

    Lousybosomsdisplease Thu, 17/06/2010 - 13:00
  • im all for looking at tits.. but udders?

    tommy123 Thu, 17/06/2010 - 12:54
  • stella, have you got big ones?

    Lousybosomsdisplease Thu, 17/06/2010 - 12:24
  • 5, 6 and 12. I bet Ultima are on the phone to her now to model their 2011 collection.

    Elbow, I think this is your selection also.

    stella ah trois Thu, 17/06/2010 - 12:18
  • The one with tassles and no top, that's someone's beloved daughter.

    elbow Thu, 17/06/2010 - 12:16
  • MY EYES!!!!!

    *be's sick*

    tescopop Thu, 17/06/2010 - 12:13
  • Pic 4. Shes dressed in red. Oh my fucking god. That image will stay with me for a long time.

    The Rev Jesse Custer Thu, 17/06/2010 - 11:57
  • Page 12, the one with the beard standing at the back, now that surely is the winner.

    elbow Thu, 17/06/2010 - 11:44
  • Page 12, the one with the beard standing at the back, now that surely is the winner.

    elbow Thu, 17/06/2010 - 11:44
  • Pic 4. Shes dressed in red. Oh my fucking god. That image will stay with me for a long time.

    The Rev Jesse Custer Thu, 17/06/2010 - 11:57
  • MY EYES!!!!!

    *be's sick*

    tescopop Thu, 17/06/2010 - 12:13
  • The one with tassles and no top, that's someone's beloved daughter.

    elbow Thu, 17/06/2010 - 12:16
  • 5, 6 and 12. I bet Ultima are on the phone to her now to model their 2011 collection.

    Elbow, I think this is your selection also.

    stella ah trois Thu, 17/06/2010 - 12:18
  • stella, have you got big ones?

    Lousybosomsdisplease Thu, 17/06/2010 - 12:24
  • im all for looking at tits.. but udders?

    tommy123 Thu, 17/06/2010 - 12:54
  • perfect excuse, if indeed one is required, for the inhabitants of north london to behave like the massive, massive cunts they are.

    edit: how is the girl in pic one a zombie?

    Lousybosomsdisplease Thu, 17/06/2010 - 13:00
  • Ah, not big. Just perfect really. I don't have to shop at Bravissimo or whatever it's called. But they are soft like pillows. A handful, if you have the manly hands to contain them. Yet not droopy at all. In profile, when aroused, and I look up and as I arch my back, that little lift of the nipples as they reach up almost of their own volition, as if towards an expectant mouth, is particularly appealing, I am told. When my nipples go erect it is as if my whole body is tightening into a state where I can only, only take one journey, one journey to one place. And it won't be with you, you fucking pervert. How big's your cock? :)

    stella ah trois Thu, 17/06/2010 - 14:31
  • like mount vesuvius except loaded with great gouts of searing hot spunk.

    just of to the loo, back in a tick.

    Lousybosomsdisplease Thu, 17/06/2010 - 14:51
  • My pleasure. Credit my PayPal account when you get back, will you?

    stella ah trois Thu, 17/06/2010 - 14:59
  • actually i was going for a shit.

    Lousybosomsdisplease Thu, 17/06/2010 - 15:07
  • Yeah. I get that quite a lot.

    stella ah trois Thu, 17/06/2010 - 15:11
  • really? cor.

    Lousybosomsdisplease Thu, 17/06/2010 - 15:33
  • It's usually extra. But for you, all in the same price.

    stella ah trois Thu, 17/06/2010 - 16:20
  • Mmmmm........ I was wondering what had happened to Tatou...... now I know.
    Clearly growing up in Chernobyl has taken its toll.......

    Pic 19-22...... Why did they have to exhume Leigh Bowery for their tacky pageant?

    And why is Nadine Coyle hosting this event?

    Tra la la.....

    whothehellamiagain Thu, 17/06/2010 - 20:40
  • Pic 12 - love, you want to get your zombie belly down to the fucking gym

    Pic 13 - I don't think zombies take time out from eating human flesh to have a swift fag, dear

    Pic 14 - Is he a fucking zombie panda or what?

    Pic 16 - what the fuck is the big titted one doing with tea bags over her nips???

    koshmar Fri, 18/06/2010 - 02:30