Now I will not have you fighting like this. Both of you say sorry and shake hands. Then you are together going to do some litter picking so you can learn about team work and community and public service. But first I'm phoning home to say you are in detention until 4pm. In the meantime, Charl, sharpen those pencils. Blart, tidy the book corner.

And as expected you completely miss the random, off-the-wall humour on this site. I can't be arsed to try and argue with you, which is a shame really, seeing as there was a faint glimmer of mute intelligence there.... almost.

Try nipping over to Popbitch or the Hello! website, where they might consider your fox-hunting vs capital punishment argument to be a bit highbrow and radical. Quite honestly, whilst some might see you as a bit post-modernist, I think you're basically talking out of your arse.

Well, after playing the 'some people on this site know the real me' card, you suddenly use your moronic online persona as a shield. So angry, so stupid and most of all, such a fucking hypocrite. You asked why doesn't anyone do jobs that matter? Teachers clearly fall into the pointless category to you. You contradict yourself at every turn. You just posted that Boy George would have kicked Alex Reid's arse. You're more sucked in to this shit than anyone else on this site.

Hey guess what Charl, fuck you too, you can have some of that attitude. I didn't even know you were a bloody woman for certain, and less so a fucking teacher, by Christ no wonder some of the kids are all fucked up with an "I'm all right Jack" attitude when there are "right-on" pricks like you in the fucking classroom. And guess what? I couldn't give a microbe's fart if you're female - if you're a twat, it makes no odds to your fucking gender, but it's no surprise that you throw the misogynist card, you fucking lightweight. Oh woe is fucking me. Is it cos I is a woman?

If you are (and this is a wild stab in the dark, using your name *rolls eyes*) 25 years old, I don't know whether to despair or laugh at your naivete. Civilisation is sliding down a poop chute in its own shit, and all some seem to think of doing is saying "Oh, Kerry Katona, what a slapper", or "X Factor? That Cheryl's dead nice". I'm not suggesting that we all read Dostoevsky and discuss the post-Chekovian influences on the constructivist movement in 1920s Soviet Russia, but FFS if the future of Western popular music relies on the karaoke productions of a 40-something pseudo-svengali who fastidiously dyes his hair and wears his trousers way too high for a man of his age, then we're fucked. I couldn't care less on people's musical tastes, but there is plenty of innovative music of all genres out there to ensure this aural crap should be confined to parties for the under-10s and old folks' homes. Yes, most of society's vulnerable tends to be looked after, but not all - I challenge you to aim that one at the countless elderly and mentally-ill people who have quite literally just been released back into society with none or little support, save that of relatives or close friends. Too much money to be made in private healthcare, natch...

By the way, if you really think my HM persona is a reflection of my true self, you really should examine exactly what sort of website you're contributing to - we don't all go around with machetes and sniper rifles aimed at the Z-listers,.... calling people "cunts" is the modus operandi - so YOU cheer up, you miserable cunt. You get 13 weeks' paid holiday every year, FFS

Charl I'm afraid that you have completely missed the point that I am making. I'm not talking about comparisons between Eastern & Western cultures and I'm certainly not talking about changes that are going to happen immediately. What I am saying is that we in the West have the scientific capabilities and knowledge of social engineering to understand that the world cannot continue to support the global population if we carry on living the way we do, it is painfully obvious to most governments and in fact anyone of a basic level of intelligence who can actually be bothered to take even the briefest look at the facts....and yet we continue to ignore the warning signs. We accept it when government & global businesses tell us that "it's not that big a problem" and that "they're working on a solution" but we do fuck all to follow it up. What do you think is going to happen when the climate changes (that are already affecting places like Africa and Bangladesh by destroying crops with too little \ much rain) really kick in ? Do you think the people in these countries are going to sit back and starve to death whilst people in the developed western world literally eat themselves to death by stuffing high fat low nutrition crap into their faces ? of course not, these people will come flooding into the western world looking for their share and what are we going to do then, leave them to starve ? close our borders ? why not after all it's their fault isn't it......oh hold on.

The fact is that if we acted now we may be able to stave off these massive ecological changes and possibly even reverse them but the simple truth remains that we won't because we cannot be fucked to make our own lives a little more difficult to save a bunch of strangers 50 years from now. So whilst 15 million cunts will ring up and vote for some daft little twat to win a fucking karaoke competition no fucker will make their voice heard about the future of the planet.

So that is what I mean when I say apathy will be the death of the West.

No surely not Mr HM ! I mean once you've tried jet skiing then that's it isn't it, you wouldn't go back for more !

a different holiday perhaps?

Oh and by the way Blart, I'm a teacher. I earn fuck all and my mortgage is crippling me. So fuck you.

First of all, calling someone an old slag for disagreeing with you reeks of a really nasty misogyny Blart so your opinion is of little significance to me. Secondly, I'm not stupid and if I wanted to face a rant from a cynical, viscious moron declaring the nation is morally bankrupt, I can tune in to Jeremy Kyle. I don't think everyone is well-off or that life is perfect. I was just saying that these posts are losing a sense of proportion. Relatively speaking, life is better now than it ever has been. How lovely that a bunch of pseudo-intellectual arseholes can sit around bemoaning the state of the world. That luxury is afforded to you BY modern life and all the trivial shit that comes with it. Human beings are easily distracted? No shit. I'm not passive, I'm positive...there is a difference. You always resort to personal attacks when someone questions you Blart so, I neither know nor care what enormously altruistic profession you're undertaking but I hope you don't go into with the same fuck you attitude you display on here. MJ...I take your point. You're right about the responsibility we have and I agree with you on our apathy. I was simply saying and I believe this, that life is getting better, not worse. That does not make me stupid or unaware of how the media manipulates us and distracts us with shiny objects. I just fundamentally believe that the world is evolving in a positive way. There are rumblings in Indonesia, China, Iran, Zimbabwe etc etc. People are acting and moving all the time. Just because we're all stupid enough to be on a gossip site doesn't mean the rest of the world is as inane as we are. So Merry Christmas and a Happy fucking New Year you miserable cunts.

Wrong again HM, I saw these pics about 3 years ago.

so which 'gay cover' dolly bird is he in bardados with this time?

How's this for irony.....

How is this for irony...talking about how futile Sienna Miller is and then featuring her on your website! Then slagging off the paps for following her! Then me slagging you off continueing the debate....

Maybe the next thing of Facebook will be LETS ALL PUNCH SIMON COWELL IN THE FACE......itv shitclipshows might make a killing but things will change.

*applauds Mr HM* Exactly on the button. Can you imagine anything like emancipation of the serfs, introduction of the National Health Service or (god forbid) mass mobilisation of the nation to war happening these days?

Apathy rules O.... nah, I can't be arsed

.....which is exactly what Blart & I have been saying all along. This is as far as it gets these days which is quite frankly pathetic. We are slowly building the coffin that we will all be buried in.

No i'm not pissed off in the slightest about what gets to number one. It just all smells a bit "Rik from The Young Ones" for my liking. All just a bit Rag Week. If people really want to make a statement about what they consider to be good music, then these 500,000 people should pick a different song every single week. Do you think they will?

my main problem with the whole RATM thing is that a) the only real "winner" was facebook b) there is some irony in 500,000 people being 'individual' by doing exactly the same thing c) the only difference in the PR campaign and the marketing were the tools used - they were both as prolific as the other.

If people really want to make a statement about supporting "real" music, they can do so throughout the year - a hit song isn't just for Christmas. But will they? Will we see Mumford and Sons joining Sonic Youth for a long run at the top of the charts in 2010? Will we fuck.

This was merely "a thing" on facebook that will not happen again. It hasn't changed anything in the slightest.

Fuck off you vacuous old slag, if you're happy to watch dimwit "stars" be worshipped, made idols of, make fabulous fortunes for little or no ability (X Factor = glorified karaoke) and then tell US that "they're worth it", then you've well and truly sold out and embraced the filthy dollar.

Basic tenet of capitalism used to be to produce a good or service of value or quality, sell at the market price. The competition is the quality mark, the market decides. Nowadays, globalisation means you don't get a choice. This is what we produce, buy it. You want choice? Buy a record by some fucking unknown who may have comparatively infinite talent BUT they're not in our stable. You'll be cast out as a "weirdo", a "reprobate", an undesirable.

And you think no-one starves in this country? Everyone has a tidy little 2up 2down in Berkshire, wherever? Fuck me, you must work for Tory central office or Murdoch Towers. You are the epitome of why telly is shit, the top 20 means nothing, Cowell is a billionaire, Katie Price still makes money hand over foot, sites like this push out any old shit that passes as news and why the national average intelligence is down by several levels.

People in the world of Cowell and Murdoch are commodities. We are the market, that's why we're encouraged to breed and breed and breed - it's more people to buy their shit. A few conservationists have had the balls lately to tell the truth that the population level is the biggest threat to mankind. So what do we get in response? "We need more workers, more children, to supply the taxes to pay YOU your pensions, YOU who have frittered the pension funds, you selfish bastards." And there's me thinking that there are fucking millions on the benny who don't pay any tax anyway?

I've never claimed dole, apart for a couple of weeks when I was a student before going to uni. Loads of people here know what I did for a living for quite a long time, dutifully paying tax. Now, I'm going into a profession which is designed to improve the country, yet I'm expected to fund myself to a certain degree, and when I finish prep, my salary at first will be quite risible. So, by your reckoning, I'm probably stupid and should exploit some fad or corner in the market to dupe the stupid. Hmmm. Nice. Altruism isn't dead in an extreme capitalist system...

If there isn't a form of dissent, then we may as well hand the world on a plate to the likes of Cowell and Murdoch. Let's all accept our lot, hey? Fuck the poor, I've got a cosy house, private health, nest egg for when I get old, second home in France. The calls to scrap the NHS get louder each day and people just shrug and say "Yeah, fuckin doctors are shit, I'm waiting for my £10k compo cheque for my ingrown toenail, the cunts". I'm surprised people still want to be doctors, nurses, teachers, in the forces, you know - a job which is there for the good of others, but then that would never have occurred to you, would it, as you eat your KFC, watch X Factor and Sky News, and sneer at the Big Issue collector in the town. Fucking passive idiot

What's this death of the west shit? We're a lot more fucking civilised than the vast majority of the east. Why the fuck are you all talking about the good old days of protests etc. So life is a bit more vapid and celebs are worshipped. So the fuck what? People don't starve to death in this country. Everyone has a vote. The ill, old and vulnerable are cared for. Cheer up you bunch of miserable cunts.

ha ha ha I must have missed him, let's track him down and ask his opinions, he'd probably just call me gay / boring....the wag !

Waldo I see the point you are making as regards the pointlessness of playing two Sony acts off against each other to see who can make the most money as obviously there is only going to be one winner.

However, regardless of the futileness of the effort (and lets face it missing out on the UK number one spot was hardly gonna bring Sony to the brink of ruin anyway) I think the whole subject of the people vs the x-factor was an illustration of people power being applied. Sadly in this case it was a waste of time because the issue in question will have no impact on anybody's life whatsoever (that Joe kid will get over it and on top of that I'm willing to bet that there are people in the "biz" who are going to fuck him over much harder than this campaign) and it will be forgotten completely by the end of January if not sooner.

The shame of it is that this kind of crap is the only sort of sort of rebellion that people get involved in these days, and I do not doubt that there were many thousands of people who thought "yeah that's showing 'em" on Sunday when the Number 1 spot was announced. Blart & myself were bemoaning the fact that if this kind of public opinion could be brought to bear on topics that mattered then maybe we could actually force through some changes that would have a positive impact on peoples lives. Alas I do not think that people who have been dumbed down with endless clip shows of funny animals & "Most Outrageous " with inane narration played over the top have the ability or even the inclination within them to rise up against any perceived injustice in the way they used to, simply put everybody thinks they are "comfortable" and if there is a problem it's up to someone else to sort it out.....besides which the football \ eastenders is on the telly and I can't miss that, etc.

The next time we see serious disorder in the West will be when there are major natural disasters and the infrastructure that everyone thinks will keep them safe collapses leaving anarchy to reign and the strong to prey on the weak on a personal physical level rather than a political one - perfectly illustrated by Hurricane Katrina.

Apathy will be the death of the West.

I read these somewhere else written by someone else but thought it was an apt enough description of the whole farce;

People fighting corporate oppression by buying a different track from the same corporation = lol fail.

The millionaire mainstream socialists RATM who have made their millions from singing the same old crap about sticking it to 'the man', the very same man who has made them rich beyond someone like Joe Mcelderrys dreams would be the last people to trust criticising others on originality.

Why are people so happy to wreck another persons chance?

establishment and anti establishment are just marketing ploys.
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I tend to agree, people are getting their dicks hard and panties wet just because old has beens RATM have reformed and said a few F words on the radio and promised a free gig on their already soon to be sellout tour woopedy doo.

I hate Simon Cowell, think he is a right kunt but i admire that he gives people a chance and leg up into the business that would not normally get one.

Before all the bleeding heart hypocrites come on saying this and that about sad act RATM giving to charity, so what Simon Cowell does as well who cares.

Also RATM have been in the game for years, why not give someone else a chance, the utter lack of humanity in wanting to see that kid fail from RATM fans shows me who is the real heartless kunts in society.

I actually have more respect now for the Xfactor buying sheep than the RATM buying sheep who think they are 'rebelling' against society or are elite or something lol what a bunch of failures you have just chose to fall for one marketing ploy over a different one.

As someone who didn't fall for either i'll just point and laugh.

It's hard to listen to sleep now in the fire and the ghost of tom joad and other RATM songs without thinking what a bunch of sellout hypocrites they have turned into.

I bet Sony loves you both however.

Where's that utter twat who went on and on about flashing at people in his car? The 'barrister'? I'm sure he'd add to the debate greatly

I think we may have put the other children off......

Yeah, well folks 'twas ever thus.

From the bread and circuses of Ancient Rome to the Levellers (the 17th Century peasant army not the 1990's crusty Trustafarians FFS) to John Lennon's 'Working Class Hero' polemic of the (supposedly) revolutionary '60's to Crass 'Coronation Street is on TV - grey puke, fucking shit' to 'Fuck You I Won't Do What You Tell Me' 2009 style.

The system versus those who want something better or different.

Fuck knows what the answer is. Voting, yes, but vote cynically please, secure in the knowledge they're all a load of venal shysters, noses well in the trough, who don't realise just how indespensible they are. Still, at least they're OUR bunch of muppets, which is more than a peasant in North Korea can say.

Other than that, always ensure your bullshit detector is fully juiced up and never EVER give any of these cunts - your Lady Gaga's, your Katie Prices, your Graham Nortons, me or any of the million and one primetime heros were supposed to be in thrall to - an even break.Silence sucks.

Give the world to my daughter I say. Failing that, call in the air strike and let the cockroaches have a go.

And that, my friend, is the gloomy future to which we have to look forward. One, because we have been told to by our lords and masters (NewsCorp International) and two, because they have struck a shady deal with Cameron. Back in the summer, the Murdoch's bastard son James held a rant at the international news association seminar against none other than the BBC, possibly the last bastion against the complete global takeover by this despicable family, since the Daily Mirror probably musters only a readership of about 12. And the reason for the rant? Because the BBC holds an unfair advantage against NewsCorp's laughable online "news" service by not charging us to get real unbiased news from its website.

So, to placate the cunt, Murdoch has demanded that the BBC news service be devolved for charging, rather than be up for free; Brown said "no", Cameron said "yes", Guess how come Brown gets shit news coverage in the Sun, while Cameron is paraded as Jesus mk2....

I'm no fan of Brown, but he handled the recession pretty well. Say what you like but even the fucking Sun had to admit the recession is over in this country now. And if anyone wants to throw stats at me from NewsCorp sources, you can boil your arse.

I think the problem lies firmly with the fact that we have an Australian naturalised American, ultra right-wing, neo conservative, fundamentalist Christian, anti-EU press magnate running our most popular "news"papers and Sky TV, which incidentally caters for 90% of satellite TV coverage in this country. Now put me in a dress and call me Daisy Lowe, but I'm sure there's a case for the Monopolies Commission there - oh shit, the press is self-regulating,......

Yeah ho-ho-ho and all that, I'm looking forward to my 11 days off whereby I will eat & drink myself silly and spend loads of time with the family but that's no excuse to not think about things.

Well well well, meaningful posts on the HM website....probably goes against the capitalist consumerist nature of the site and so they will no doubt be removed shortly.

While we're on the subject of politics though let's look at our options to enforce change in the coming year. I'd love to say that the true power in a democracy rests with the voting public, however this only applies when you have different parties to choose from as opposed to two parties who appear to differ on the colour they choose to represent them and not much else. Any vote for any other party is seen as a "protest vote" and is generally an indication of public opinion on a particular point differing from the opinion of the two main parties.....the sad thing is the only time I'ver seen it used recently is people voting for the BNP as a protest against immigration, proving once again that as a country we are overwhelmingly fucking stupid.

The Tories will win, nothing will change.

Beautifully illustrated points from MJ and the Blartmeister, so good in fact I will not repeat them in my own rantings.

I think "Big" Jim Larkin summed it up best when he said:

"The great appear great because we are on our knees: Let us rise."

Although I think he nicked it from a Frenchman.

Enjoy Crimbo everyone. New Year, New Revolution (from my armchair naturally)

Is that close seconds or sloppy seconds ?

Grange, I know I am as guilty as others (I have a facebook page, I use this site, Jesus I even watched the x-factor with my missus this year) but I at least spend some time thinking about these issues and where possible getting involved in meaningful civil disobedience. What worries me is the lack of thought my friends give to these issues and some of them are actually quite bright, one of them even has a Phd !

As a society the West is sleepwalking into a cycle of endless consumerism where our only function is to buy things for the sake of ownership only to then find that the latest thing you have purchased is now out of date and you therefore need to buy the next thing. This rapacious appetite for consumption is speeding up the usage of the globes resources all in the name of generating money which will be of no use whatsoever when there's fuck all left to buy. Unfortunately every society reaches a pinnacle where its needs exceed it's resources (and I'm not talking about importing goods) at which point that society dissolves and after a period of anarchy a new power arises. I fear that due to the submissive nature and the "I'm alright Jack" stance of the masses in the countries that could feasibly do something we are already in the beginning of the end of modern civilization as we know it......a bit doom & gloom but unless we change the way we live massively then we are fucked, and of course all this is before the two most populated countries on the planet (India & China) have caught up with us in the consumerism stakes which thanks to the spread of capitalism will not be long.

The one bright spot in all this is that it will probably not properly affect us for a good 50 years or so.....in which case I'm alright Jack as I'll be dead.

Sh, but will you marry me? You can bring the guns and stuff. MJ - close second.

I agree with many of the points MJwasKF and Blarty make but surely HM is as crass and pointless as anything else in the meeja and arent we dickweeds for reading it ?

Stopping the X factor winner getting to No 1 is a small victory but one nonetheless. Perhaps more 'buy nothing days' in 2010 will make 'them' sit up and take notice.

In 2010 my resolutions are to use the internet less , less meeja , less TV and more meeting new people. Perhaps the Gods will smile and serve up a few garotted investment bankers!

Best Wishes To You all

MJ, this is precisely what the noughties is about. We've now dumbed down to such an extent that we no longer have free thinkers, derring-do explorers, innovative musicians or refreshingly independent politicians as our role models or heroes. Instead we have Katie Price, Cheryl Cole, Ashley Cole, Pete Doherty, David fucking Cameron and the fuckwit Princes.

You ask children who or what they want to be - and invariably the answer will be "winning X Factor", "being Katie Price/Cheryl Cole" or to play premiership football. Ok, lads have always wanted to be footballers (me included) but not for the latter-day reasons. Very few express desires to be doctors, teachers, thinkers; people who make a difference.

We're fed our daily dose of bile by the (US magnate-owned) popular press that we're to hate Gordon Brown, hate Labour politicians, love the Tories, love X Factor, love the Royals, and support "Our Boys" (how I fucking hate that) in the 'Stan - even though illogically we're also told to not support the war there (???). You think I'm being delusionary? I live with relatives who inconceivably buy this shit and you will not believe the arguments I have with them, trying to destroy the lies and weasel words that are peddled. The working class used to be a fiercely proud, clean, upright stratum of people - now, it's "Fuck you, where's my cut?"

What's happening is that we're being dumbed down to accept certain aspects of life - and anyone who stands against that is a rebel and a quisling, and is to be ridiculed. Follow the flock, don't stray. Accept your lot. There are people who are born to be better, chosen to be better, but it's not you. It could be, but hey, keep trying. Don't aspire, blame your failings and lack of ambition on immigrants, muslims, labour, Gordon Brown, anyone but yourself. Slag off those who are given free handouts but aren't British (another lie) but let's not hear anything against those "role models" who are multi-millionaires for little ability and effort. Let's laugh at the sad sacks who want to make a difference but are paid a salary barely over the minimum wage. Let's blame teachers and the authorities for the feral kids, but god forbid the parents should be challenged. Let's blame anyone, and let's be told what we have to think and do.

You'd never get a revolution here now. People like Nye Bevan, Lloyd George, Harold Wilson, William Wilberforce, they'd all be slated as loonies and ridiculed by the popular media. Tony Benn is probably the last political figure with credibility (not just for left-wingers) since Galloway crawled like a cat on CBB and Red Ken acquiesced. It's ok to dress, eat and act like trailer trash Americans because it's a conditioning. It's cool, honest it is. It's funny to laugh at people who go on X Factor and have their backing tracks tampered to make them sound out of tune, because it makes you feel better about yourself; and hey, let's laugh at those who think they can make a change for the best, because, fuck, I'm happy eating my offal burgers, driving my APV, reading the Sun/Mail, watching trash TV and buying Katie Price's perfume - because I was told to.

I'm saying RATM is good, that album is a fucking classic. I first bought it in 1992 and I'm still listening to it now......somehow I doubt that Leona Lewis will still be listened too in 17 years time and Joe McEldery will probably be working in the chippy outside St James's park "thinking aboot the 8 mooonths when I wa' famous man...aw me Mam was sooo proooud"

Calm down everyone. Remember it's Christmas! Happy Christmas everyone.
Mind you, anyone who rides one of those jetskis is a cunt and usually a BNP member

Blart, without trying to sound like a paranoid conspiracy theorist, I have long held a suspicion that there has been a concerted effort through the media to portray anyone who is an "activist" in a poor light. Whether it be through the press reporting on "anarchist groups living off of benefit handouts whilst trying to take down the system that supports them" or through the way any "politically active" characters in film & TV are represented which is usually inept & bumbling wearing sandals, tank tops & beards or alternatively they are shown as deranged or obsessed with their "cause"......i.e. terrorists, and as we all know terrorists are bad m'kay.

Look back at the social movements of the 70's and 80's such as CND & the Poll Tax riots (I know this was 1990 but it was sort of the 80's) can you imagine such large scale public uprising happening today ? No of course not because people have got "celebrities" to follow and direct all their frustration & hatred at rather than trying to understand why they feel frustrated & angry in the first place which in most cases is a feeling of helplessness to direct their own lives and a lack of belonging within society. All of this leads to the individualisation of the general populous whereby people develop a dog-eat-dog mentality and stop respecting others rights to be, all pretty ironic considering that we are currently at the apex of communication technology whereby you can be in touch with someone on the other side of the world instantaneously and yet we seem to be developing more and more ego-centric ways of using this technology (Facebook, Twitter, etc).

Anyway enough of my ranting, I'm going to go and put my tinfoil hat on so that the government can't control my thoughts.

"Yes we have freedom, but at what price ?"

Mmmm hunting. It's going to be gloriously bloody day when they bring it back. Yum. How stupid is a nation where the majority is in favour of capital punishment but against killing a few mangy foxes?

This is exactly what people power can do - and I'm not on about the legions of chavs and middle class tits who buy the Sun/Mail and will vote Tory because they're told it's the right thing to do, think that Wills and Harry are "really lovely boys cos they're in the forces as well aren't they and said they're proud to wear the uniform" PR bullshit, think that Cameron will make a better PM even though he hasn't got a policy to put his name to and will actually carry on the same crap that the current incumbent subscribes to - but hey, at least we'll get fox hunting back!

This country really does need a revolution - it's worse than any Orwellian dystopia, but as in 1984, there are still plenty of us uppity Winstons to remind the Establishment they can't and won't fuck us over. This is the difference; the Establishment wants us to believe it's the (Lab) gov that is doing the controlling, when in effect it's them. We might joke about the Cowell situation, but think on about how carefully planned it all is for a select prestigious few - and how fucking pissed off they get when it goes just a little awry.

Fair enough. Rather I should have said, you don't have to like RATM to support the principle. Better? And you're right about X Factor contestants. Bet they make fuck all money even if they have a couple of hits. Can't imaging Cowell handing over anything that he isn't forced to by law.

So HM, would you rather the X Factor shit had been number 1? I don't get it. Are you pissed off because you've been plugging this bollocks for months with interviews etc? No-one's saying RATM is good, it's just not the fucking same drivel as usual. Only a plonker would disagree.

Look, Cowell is set for life, parked up on easy street next to a machine that shits money.

The Rage Against The Machine doo-dah is, only, possibly, a sign that a certain, not unsubstantial percentage of the population might not be too happy with the nice, bland, unchallanging pop music that he and his 'machine' have been delivering these last few years.

Yeah, but look what he's wearing. WTF?!!! The blue tone of his lifejacket clashes with the jet-ski faring

Totally let himself go etc. etc. ad nauseam.....

Do you think Simon Cowell would have preferred to be in Top Gun, Miami Vice or Baywatch ?