A Clean...
Wed, 28/07/2010 - 08:59 by HM writer

Jessica Biel could have at least brushed her hair before the A-Team premiere last night in London's Leciester Square, but at least she was wearing her own (*Liam Neeson* - come on, that's almost worse than Nicolas Cage's nylon wig and Travolta's chestnut hessian hairmop combined)...

The premiere drew in a glittering array of guests, or in reality, a cravat wearing Olly Murs, looking like an over-tanned and anorexic version of Jeff Brazier, Chris Eubank, two people we don't think we've ever seen before in our entire lives (and we recognised Kerry Katona's life coaches in the street the other day), a violinist called Linzi Stoppard, Ed Byrne and Alex Reid wearing horrible jeans with patent shoes. 

Non-offensive guests and stars of the film included Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley, Quinton Jackson, Ralph Fiennes and Tom Hollander...


  • welcome to :

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    gaga1155 Sat, 31/07/2010 - 15:28
  • welcome to :

    ===== http://www.fashionclothe.com ====

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    Handbags(Coach l v f e n d i d&g) $30

    Tshirts (Polo ,ed hardy,lacoste) $15

    Jean(True Religion,ed hardy,coogi) $30

    Sunglasses(Oakey,coach,gucci,A r m a i n i) $15

    New era cap $12

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    ===== http://www.fashionclothe.com ====

    gaga1155 Sat, 31/07/2010 - 15:27
  • Look fatty, that was my intention, get over it, move on, get urself a life, stay of the cakes, pies n gravy and u'll start to notice a difference, maybe get some exercise also, but most of all, have some fun while ur doing it
    TheNode

    TheNode Fri, 30/07/2010 - 10:59
  • Of course you did. It was a trap and I fell for it. You've proven how clever you are. The fact that you call me a fat ugly cunt doesn't reveal any level of irritation at all. (That's sarcasm by the way in case you're too stupid to read between the lines) If you remember all that shit you're so quick to defend, surely you're old enough to think of something better than...oh yeah?...well...I meant to do it...and...you...you...you're a big fat stupid face. Hardly Dorothy Parker is it.

    psammmead Thu, 29/07/2010 - 16:07
  • hahah i knew u would pick up on that, exactly why i left me sig off, i thought, as she/he is running out of ideas t ave a go at me for, ill leave my sig off, u know give the fat ugly cunt a head start, and u went for it, well done
    THENODE

    TheNode Thu, 29/07/2010 - 12:43
  • Woah guys where's the love, I was just trying to offer an insight into this film and give my opinion of it.....had I known this would happen I never would have done it......honest.

    The Rev Jesse Custer Thu, 29/07/2010 - 08:14
  • I'm a woman moron. It was a joke. And oh no! You forgot to sign your name at the bottom of your posting as you usually do in such an amusing quirky manner. Now people will just think you're an utter bell-end. Edit it quick so people go back to thinking you're hilarious.

    psammmead Thu, 29/07/2010 - 05:43
  • Maybe the hair colour is a subtle hint to the world that the film IS shite. Liam Neeson has dyed his hair an unatural shade of doo-doo brown. So who knows? As for Mr Murs. You know it's a bad day in dodge when your own hair looks like a syrup. Unless he really is wearing one.

    PuddyTwat Wed, 28/07/2010 - 23:27
  • Blah blah fucking blah, shit film, shit people and a shitty dick by the sounds of what think

    TheNode Wed, 28/07/2010 - 16:13
  • Oh and as for your shattered world theory, most kids have grasped the difference between film and reality by the time they're about 7. Unlike some I could etc etc etc.

    psammmead Wed, 28/07/2010 - 16:08
  • So you haven't seen the film but declare it's shitness anyway. Like old farts who say they don't like eating foreign muck but haven't ever tried it. Or young farts who say they hate all music produced pre-2005. Or homophobes who say they hate gays when they've never tried taking one up the ricker. Go and watch the A-Team, followed by an eighties night, a curry and a shag with someone the same gender as you, then report back. You never know...you might like it.

    psammmead Wed, 28/07/2010 - 16:06
  • This is bad parody of someone from "the street" trying to write English . . . . . . isn't it?

    Stramash Wed, 28/07/2010 - 15:28
  • Yes sir, thats ur opinion of this piss, of which i give not one fuck about.
    I will never watch this film, not even if some fool(not the aint getting on no plane type) trys to palm a downloaded freebie off on me. For fucks sake, proper T is doing marathon/snicker/marathon adverts, some kid is gonna suss this out at some point and their world will be shattered
    Ur film idea sounds a million times more watchable , if it wasnt against my rules, u could cast crusie as the fuker, and diaz as the dog or some other equally piss poor casting, fuk it, get that peaches fuker involved as the dog, why not eh
    thnak you very fucking much
    TheNode

    TheNode Wed, 28/07/2010 - 14:14
  • Normally I'd agree with you in that most remakes are fuckin turlet but having seen the A-team a few weeks back I can tell you this is not the case. The film is full of action and banter, sure it's nothing new or original but it is entertaining and mildly ridiculous (after a second viewing some of the plot holes are gaping) which is pretty much what the series was all about. The casting is pretty well done with Murdoch being the best of the characters and his interaction with B.A. providing the funniest moments.

    Anyway that's this weeks film review, next week "I fucked my dog then ate it" and original work starring nobody you've ever heard of.

    The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 28/07/2010 - 14:01
  • this film is gonna be shit, it aint george peppard or proper T, without that its fuked, trying to pretend that they are isnt fooling anyone.
    Much the same with all this easy shit film making that hollywod pump out from their greasy pipes, oh look, theres a generation of people that might not remeber the a team, - alfie - the taking of pelham 123 ect ect ect, lets make a shit film for them and annoy every other fuker who remembers the original, do me a favour, i dare holywood, or whoever makes this shite to make an original good film, u have 1 year todo so, no u cant use tom cruise or any other fuker i might associate with being in another 500 films prior to the one original film you cant make because ur all fuking arse licking spastics

    TheNode

    TheNode Wed, 28/07/2010 - 13:30
  • Since getting kicked out of the hostel, he now has to wear allll he owns. O! How the mighty have fallen, Ed.

    tescopop Wed, 28/07/2010 - 13:08
  • How come Ed Byrne is wearing a vest AND a shirt AND a leather jacket? It's fucking boiling in London at the moment. What a girl's blouse.

    Stramash Wed, 28/07/2010 - 12:33
  • Whoa! Neeson that schwig is unbeWEAVEable!

    GretaBritain Wed, 28/07/2010 - 11:55
  • Why the fuck didn't the organisers organise a little 'exercise' between Quinton Jackson and Alex Reid. I would have loved to have seen that little orange shit Reid getting pounded into the ground.

    slug Wed, 28/07/2010 - 11:37
  • Olly Murs does look like his head is slightly over-inflated.

    dandyboy Wed, 28/07/2010 - 10:14
  • Nice knickers, Biel.

    I just do not understand how Olly Murs is getting invited to things. The man is an absolute plonker, and possible sexpest. And definite spaz.

    Respect, though, must surely go to Ed Byrne, who has to my knowledge not worked since doing the Carphone Warehouse ads in which he narrated the plight of 'Mobli', a sad little phone. Anyway, yes, respect must go to him for showing up dressed like a teenage boy's laundry basket to such an 'A-list' event.

    As to the two strangers in pic 12, me either, but missus sure has some serious fake-tan-on-feet issues. And shoes that have obviously had one or two boogies on a dirty nasty dancefloor. Which is exactly the sort of look one goes for at such an 'A-list' event.

    tescopop Wed, 28/07/2010 - 09:31
  • Nice knickers, Biel.

    I just do not understand how Olly Murs is getting invited to things. The man is an absolute plonker, and possible sexpest. And definite spaz.

    Respect, though, must surely go to Ed Byrne, who has to my knowledge not worked since doing the Carphone Warehouse ads in which he narrated the plight of 'Mobli', a sad little phone. Anyway, yes, respect must go to him for showing up dressed like a teenage boy's laundry basket to such an 'A-list' event.

    As to the two strangers in pic 12, me either, but missus sure has some serious fake-tan-on-feet issues. And shoes that have obviously had one or two boogies on a dirty nasty dancefloor. Which is exactly the sort of look one goes for at such an 'A-list' event.

    tescopop Wed, 28/07/2010 - 09:31
  • Olly Murs does look like his head is slightly over-inflated.

    dandyboy Wed, 28/07/2010 - 10:14
  • Why the fuck didn't the organisers organise a little 'exercise' between Quinton Jackson and Alex Reid. I would have loved to have seen that little orange shit Reid getting pounded into the ground.

    slug Wed, 28/07/2010 - 11:37
  • Whoa! Neeson that schwig is unbeWEAVEable!

    GretaBritain Wed, 28/07/2010 - 11:55
  • How come Ed Byrne is wearing a vest AND a shirt AND a leather jacket? It's fucking boiling in London at the moment. What a girl's blouse.

    Stramash Wed, 28/07/2010 - 12:33
  • Since getting kicked out of the hostel, he now has to wear allll he owns. O! How the mighty have fallen, Ed.

    tescopop Wed, 28/07/2010 - 13:08
  • this film is gonna be shit, it aint george peppard or proper T, without that its fuked, trying to pretend that they are isnt fooling anyone.
    Much the same with all this easy shit film making that hollywod pump out from their greasy pipes, oh look, theres a generation of people that might not remeber the a team, - alfie - the taking of pelham 123 ect ect ect, lets make a shit film for them and annoy every other fuker who remembers the original, do me a favour, i dare holywood, or whoever makes this shite to make an original good film, u have 1 year todo so, no u cant use tom cruise or any other fuker i might associate with being in another 500 films prior to the one original film you cant make because ur all fuking arse licking spastics

    TheNode

    TheNode Wed, 28/07/2010 - 13:30
  • Normally I'd agree with you in that most remakes are fuckin turlet but having seen the A-team a few weeks back I can tell you this is not the case. The film is full of action and banter, sure it's nothing new or original but it is entertaining and mildly ridiculous (after a second viewing some of the plot holes are gaping) which is pretty much what the series was all about. The casting is pretty well done with Murdoch being the best of the characters and his interaction with B.A. providing the funniest moments.

    Anyway that's this weeks film review, next week "I fucked my dog then ate it" and original work starring nobody you've ever heard of.

    The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 28/07/2010 - 14:01
  • Yes sir, thats ur opinion of this piss, of which i give not one fuck about.
    I will never watch this film, not even if some fool(not the aint getting on no plane type) trys to palm a downloaded freebie off on me. For fucks sake, proper T is doing marathon/snicker/marathon adverts, some kid is gonna suss this out at some point and their world will be shattered
    Ur film idea sounds a million times more watchable , if it wasnt against my rules, u could cast crusie as the fuker, and diaz as the dog or some other equally piss poor casting, fuk it, get that peaches fuker involved as the dog, why not eh
    thnak you very fucking much
    TheNode

    TheNode Wed, 28/07/2010 - 14:14
  • This is bad parody of someone from "the street" trying to write English . . . . . . isn't it?

    Stramash Wed, 28/07/2010 - 15:28
  • So you haven't seen the film but declare it's shitness anyway. Like old farts who say they don't like eating foreign muck but haven't ever tried it. Or young farts who say they hate all music produced pre-2005. Or homophobes who say they hate gays when they've never tried taking one up the ricker. Go and watch the A-Team, followed by an eighties night, a curry and a shag with someone the same gender as you, then report back. You never know...you might like it.

    psammmead Wed, 28/07/2010 - 16:06
  • Oh and as for your shattered world theory, most kids have grasped the difference between film and reality by the time they're about 7. Unlike some I could etc etc etc.

    psammmead Wed, 28/07/2010 - 16:08
  • Blah blah fucking blah, shit film, shit people and a shitty dick by the sounds of what think

    TheNode Wed, 28/07/2010 - 16:13
  • Maybe the hair colour is a subtle hint to the world that the film IS shite. Liam Neeson has dyed his hair an unatural shade of doo-doo brown. So who knows? As for Mr Murs. You know it's a bad day in dodge when your own hair looks like a syrup. Unless he really is wearing one.

    PuddyTwat Wed, 28/07/2010 - 23:27
  • I'm a woman moron. It was a joke. And oh no! You forgot to sign your name at the bottom of your posting as you usually do in such an amusing quirky manner. Now people will just think you're an utter bell-end. Edit it quick so people go back to thinking you're hilarious.

    psammmead Thu, 29/07/2010 - 05:43
  • Woah guys where's the love, I was just trying to offer an insight into this film and give my opinion of it.....had I known this would happen I never would have done it......honest.

    The Rev Jesse Custer Thu, 29/07/2010 - 08:14
  • hahah i knew u would pick up on that, exactly why i left me sig off, i thought, as she/he is running out of ideas t ave a go at me for, ill leave my sig off, u know give the fat ugly cunt a head start, and u went for it, well done
    THENODE

    TheNode Thu, 29/07/2010 - 12:43
  • Of course you did. It was a trap and I fell for it. You've proven how clever you are. The fact that you call me a fat ugly cunt doesn't reveal any level of irritation at all. (That's sarcasm by the way in case you're too stupid to read between the lines) If you remember all that shit you're so quick to defend, surely you're old enough to think of something better than...oh yeah?...well...I meant to do it...and...you...you...you're a big fat stupid face. Hardly Dorothy Parker is it.

    psammmead Thu, 29/07/2010 - 16:07
  • Look fatty, that was my intention, get over it, move on, get urself a life, stay of the cakes, pies n gravy and u'll start to notice a difference, maybe get some exercise also, but most of all, have some fun while ur doing it
    TheNode

    TheNode Fri, 30/07/2010 - 10:59
  • welcome to :

    ===== http://www.fashionclothe.com ====

    Air jordan(1-24)shoes $30

    Handbags(Coach l v f e n d i d&g) $30

    Tshirts (Polo ,ed hardy,lacoste) $15

    Jean(True Religion,ed hardy,coogi) $30

    Sunglasses(Oakey,coach,gucci,A r m a i n i) $15

    New era cap $12

    Bikini (Ed hardy,polo) $20

    accept paypal and free shipping

    ===== http://www.fashionclothe.com ====

    gaga1155 Sat, 31/07/2010 - 15:27
  • welcome to :

    ===== http://www.fashionclothe.com ====

    Air jordan(1-24)shoes $30

    Handbags(Coach l v f e n d i d&g) $30

    Tshirts (Polo ,ed hardy,lacoste) $15

    Jean(True Religion,ed hardy,coogi) $30

    Sunglasses(Oakey,coach,gucci,A r m a i n i) $15

    New era cap $12

    Bikini (Ed hardy,polo) $20

    accept paypal and free shipping

    ===== http://www.fashionclothe.com ====

    gaga1155 Sat, 31/07/2010 - 15:28

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