Tiger Woods in mysterious car crash after argument with wife

6 Tiger Woods suffered facial lacerations Elins Woods, wife of Tiger and one mean motherfucker advert Elen Woods debating on how best to cut Tiger's balls off Tiger Woods talking his friends through the night's events. They laugh now...And I thought I was a good driver, says Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods, sexual beast.

Wood for the tree

Sat, 28/11/2009 - 09:07 by Mr. HM

Last night everyone prepared for 'Jacko 2: The Revenge' when twitter went into Tiger Woods meltdown. News channels reported that he was seriously injured after a car crash near his home. Well, not quite...

I'm no detective but there's something decidedly fishy about all this. Lets try and unravel the events so far.

Official line:

At 2:30am Tiger Woods' car hit a fire hydrant then a tree.
Tiger Wood's wife Elin Woods helped Tiger out of the car by smashing a window with a golf club.
Tiger suffered facial 'lacerations'
Tiger went to hospital but was discharged shortly after.
The End.

Holy Moly P.I. statement after examining evidence:

National Enquirer (I know) report that Tiger has been doing the sneaky stuff with someone called Rachel Uchitel. She was sending text messages sayig shit like "I’m having an affair with Tiger Woods. We’re in love!"
This is not his wife. She confirmed that by sexting: 'It’s Tiger Woods! I don’t care about his wife! We’re in love.'
Shortly after, police and ambulance receive a call asking them to come to Tiger Woods' house.
They arrive to find Tiger on the floor with his wife standing over him holding a golf club (this actually happened!)
The End.

Oh hello - TMZ just wrote:

"We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club."

Never before has a man been so busted.

Tiger Woods pictures, Tiger Woods

Comments

I feel more sorry for the car than for Tiger Woods and I think he should drive up to a NH used cars service and let it there. Undoubtedly he will cheat his wife again and it's too bad for his car to suffer even more.
RosannahLeone Fri, 15/04/2011 - 13:01
I am sorry for him. From time to time everyone has a fight with his wife. It is normal. Maybe he lost the control of the wheel. He can donate his car to donate car USA to help the poor. Then to buy another one that doesn't remind of his accident.
yasmine Wed, 13/04/2011 - 19:50
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ellyka19 Wed, 17/11/2010 - 23:54
Nice article.... This will be really useful to read ,who are fans of this famous golf player tiger woods.

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barby Mon, 09/08/2010 - 08:07
I hope he has a good auto insurance quote, because he’s going to need it. Tiger Woods has really killed his career, I couldn’t ever sit and watch him play in a tournament again knowing what he did.
AliceWonderland Tue, 16/03/2010 - 21:39
Love the line "I'm no Kojak" (laughs)

I read that Tiger was quoted as saying that his wife went "all ghetto" on his arse. He's Mr Tidy Drawers so this must be excruciating. This is his test. He'll either pass or he'll fail. Either way it's a darned sight more interesting than reading about frowsy crotch Jordan.
PuddyTwat Mon, 30/11/2009 - 23:26
lol, yeah it's all going a bit wrong for gillette
wantondisregard Mon, 30/11/2009 - 11:58
Robbie Keane cut the cables. Next time, he'll steamroller over Roger Federer's dogs, and is saving something really special for Thierry Henry...
dandyboy Mon, 30/11/2009 - 00:02
You've blown me fuckin' cover now, ye cunts
Blartmonster Sun, 29/11/2009 - 15:08
Me too. Hey, Blart? You a spy?
stella ah trois Sun, 29/11/2009 - 14:52
I think he might be a spy!
BigPhil Sun, 29/11/2009 - 13:31
Show off.
stella ah trois Sun, 29/11/2009 - 12:55
What about . . .?
BigPhil Sun, 29/11/2009 - 02:04
Thought Woods was the best driver in the world?
jiggerycock Sun, 29/11/2009 - 01:20
BAM!
Mr. HM Sat, 28/11/2009 - 17:40
Rachel Uchitel, eh? Sounds East European to me - uchitel' (учитель) is Russian for 'teacher'. Sounds like she could teach him something....
Blartmonster Sat, 28/11/2009 - 14:55
God Kwebb you're the spitting image of Tarby. You must have no problem pulling the chicks.
shitthebed Sat, 28/11/2009 - 13:18
Bloke on a golf course just about to tee off when he sees a hearse driving past, so he stops, takes off his cap and bows while the hearse passes. His partner says "Wow, that was an amazing gesture, I didn't realise you were so humble" "Ah well", says the bloke, "she was a good wife to me" etc etc...
Blartmonster Sat, 28/11/2009 - 12:45
"Sounds fishy to me. I've never seen a woman with a golf club manage to hit anything, even a car window."
kwebb Sat, 28/11/2009 - 11:51
O dear, silent meals may be on the cards for Tiger, I just hope his wife doesn't try to rescue me from my car with a golf club but what a good wife she is wandering the streets at 2.30am with his favourite club just in case he needs rescuing
bystander Sat, 28/11/2009 - 11:47
Why did she have a golf club in her hands at that time in the morning? Could she maybe have been giving Tiger a slap or two? The reports state that she was found hovvering over him when the emergency services arrived, that in itself sounds sinister, surely if your husband is on the ground, injured, you would be cradling him.

Look, I'm no Kojack, but there is something that don't quite smell right here, especially the wife armed with a golf club, before even knowing she would have to smash a window... but one things for sure, if he was trying to escape his wife, it was the worse getaway ever.
scone Sat, 28/11/2009 - 11:22
what has federer got to do with it then? am missing the linky here....

EDIT: ah, didn't bother looking at the photos
The name Bagpuss is already taken Sat, 28/11/2009 - 11:20
erm, i'm not sure to be honest hahahahaha
Mr. HM Sat, 28/11/2009 - 10:35
What's Roger Federer got to do with all of this - his wife is called Mirka.
Why, oh why, oh why do Americans think that teeth whitening is any way attractive? STOP IT NOW!
whatthe. Sat, 28/11/2009 - 10:14

What's Roger Federer got to do with all of this - his wife is called Mirka.
Why, oh why, oh why do Americans think that teeth whitening is any way attractive? STOP IT NOW!
whatthe. Sat, 28/11/2009 - 10:14
erm, i'm not sure to be honest hahahahaha
Mr. HM Sat, 28/11/2009 - 10:35
what has federer got to do with it then? am missing the linky here....

EDIT: ah, didn't bother looking at the photos
The name Bagpuss is already taken Sat, 28/11/2009 - 11:20
Why did she have a golf club in her hands at that time in the morning? Could she maybe have been giving Tiger a slap or two? The reports state that she was found hovvering over him when the emergency services arrived, that in itself sounds sinister, surely if your husband is on the ground, injured, you would be cradling him.

Look, I'm no Kojack, but there is something that don't quite smell right here, especially the wife armed with a golf club, before even knowing she would have to smash a window... but one things for sure, if he was trying to escape his wife, it was the worse getaway ever.
scone Sat, 28/11/2009 - 11:22
O dear, silent meals may be on the cards for Tiger, I just hope his wife doesn't try to rescue me from my car with a golf club but what a good wife she is wandering the streets at 2.30am with his favourite club just in case he needs rescuing
bystander Sat, 28/11/2009 - 11:47
"Sounds fishy to me. I've never seen a woman with a golf club manage to hit anything, even a car window."
kwebb Sat, 28/11/2009 - 11:51
Bloke on a golf course just about to tee off when he sees a hearse driving past, so he stops, takes off his cap and bows while the hearse passes. His partner says "Wow, that was an amazing gesture, I didn't realise you were so humble" "Ah well", says the bloke, "she was a good wife to me" etc etc...
Blartmonster Sat, 28/11/2009 - 12:45
God Kwebb you're the spitting image of Tarby. You must have no problem pulling the chicks.
shitthebed Sat, 28/11/2009 - 13:18
Rachel Uchitel, eh? Sounds East European to me - uchitel' (учитель) is Russian for 'teacher'. Sounds like she could teach him something....
Blartmonster Sat, 28/11/2009 - 14:55
BAM!
Mr. HM Sat, 28/11/2009 - 17:40
Thought Woods was the best driver in the world?
jiggerycock Sun, 29/11/2009 - 01:20
What about . . .?
BigPhil Sun, 29/11/2009 - 02:04
Show off.
stella ah trois Sun, 29/11/2009 - 12:55
I think he might be a spy!
BigPhil Sun, 29/11/2009 - 13:31
Me too. Hey, Blart? You a spy?
stella ah trois Sun, 29/11/2009 - 14:52
You've blown me fuckin' cover now, ye cunts
Blartmonster Sun, 29/11/2009 - 15:08
Robbie Keane cut the cables. Next time, he'll steamroller over Roger Federer's dogs, and is saving something really special for Thierry Henry...
dandyboy Mon, 30/11/2009 - 00:02
lol, yeah it's all going a bit wrong for gillette
wantondisregard Mon, 30/11/2009 - 11:58
Love the line "I'm no Kojak" (laughs)

I read that Tiger was quoted as saying that his wife went "all ghetto" on his arse. He's Mr Tidy Drawers so this must be excruciating. This is his test. He'll either pass or he'll fail. Either way it's a darned sight more interesting than reading about frowsy crotch Jordan.
PuddyTwat Mon, 30/11/2009 - 23:26
I hope he has a good auto insurance quote, because he’s going to need it. Tiger Woods has really killed his career, I couldn’t ever sit and watch him play in a tournament again knowing what he did.
AliceWonderland Tue, 16/03/2010 - 21:39
Nice article.... This will be really useful to read ,who are fans of this famous golf player tiger woods.

Autos for Sale
barby Mon, 09/08/2010 - 08:07
I like your blog, currently we are looking for a part time article writer would you be interested?

devis comparatif assurance auto
ellyka19 Wed, 17/11/2010 - 23:54
I am sorry for him. From time to time everyone has a fight with his wife. It is normal. Maybe he lost the control of the wheel. He can donate his car to donate car USA to help the poor. Then to buy another one that doesn't remind of his accident.
yasmine Wed, 13/04/2011 - 19:50
I feel more sorry for the car than for Tiger Woods and I think he should drive up to a NH used cars service and let it there. Undoubtedly he will cheat his wife again and it's too bad for his car to suffer even more.
RosannahLeone Fri, 15/04/2011 - 13:01