Most records are rubbish, they always have been. And there were probably worse songs released than these this year, but we've forgotten what they were. But off the top of our hungover heads, here's Holy Moly's less-than-definitive list of 2010's musical 'McKeiths'.

1. Duffy - 'Well, Well, Well'

The quacking charisma vacuum and Lidl Lulu that is Duffy returned having sacked her management, ditched her talented songwriters and seemingly got Anne Widdecombe to give her dance lessons. Number 41 with a bullet. Textbook.

2. Olly Murs - 'Thinking Of Me'

The kind of cod reggae even Sid Owen would've baulked at, with lyrics clearly written by someone who needs help dressing. "Do you still pick up the seashells on that pebble beach / Remember when that crab came up and pinched your feet". This record went to number 4 in the UK charts, people.

3. Alexandra Burke - 'Start Without You'

No one had ever wondered what a collaboration between Beyonce, The Mad Stuntman and the Fast Food Rockers would sound like, but now we know. And we still don't believe the video wasn't a cheese-influenced dream we once had. Dear Alexandra, ever get the feeling the label don't give a shit about your career anymore?

4. Black Eyed Peas - 'The Time (Dirty Bit)'

We heard the following conversation on the bus yesterday: "I like that new Black Eyed Peas song." "Oh, have they got a new one? I liked the old one." Yes, they've got a new one. It's good". It's not good, it's the musical equivalent of those minced up chicken cocks that make Jamie Oliver cry.


5. McFly - 'iF U C Kate'

Look, they spelled a swear! We don't hate McFly, we just think this whole album smelt of piss and cluelessness. And we don't hate McFly fans, we just wish they knew the difference between "their", "there" and "they're" when they send us angry tweets.

6. Take That - 'What Do You Want From Me?'

Take That came back sounding like robots from the future and little Mark Owen chose to exorcise his recent "troubles" by screaming, "I still wanna have sex with you!" on this terrible album track. Transcribing a drunken, guilty answer-phone message does not a good lyric make. What does she want from you? She wants you to stop shagging groupies, Mark. 

7. RPA & The United Nations of Sound - 'Are You Ready'

What Richard Ashcroft did when The Verve finally died of apathy was make another record that sounded like The Verve, only with a contemptibly worse band name. Two and a half good songs in the 90s does not a legend make. To quote an old pal, "Shit then, shit now, get over it."

8. Vampire Weekend - 'Holiday'

We love 6 Music more than our own mothers but if they ever play this yelping, cock-less, middleclass whimsy again we're tuning our radio back to Magic FM.

9. Cheryl Cole - 'Promise This'

People took the piss out of Victoria Beckham's attempt to go "urban" so how come Cheryl Cole is allowed to get away with this shit? At least Vicky had the dignity to jack it in and go and make jeans for a living. We couldn't hum the tune to 'Promise This' if our balls depended on it. That Nicola Roberts solo career can't come soon enough.

10. Everything ever recorded by Katy Perry

Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off! Then come back and fuck off again. Cunt.