It's the moment you've all been waiting for. It's another celebrity sex tape! And it's supposed to be the dirtiest one ever! What's the bad side you say? Oh, you've probably never heard of the celebrities in it, but you've heard of Paris Hilton right? Well this is how she started and look where she is now. She's got drugs in her vagina (allegedly) and a gleam in her eye. Why would you deny these two aspiring stars that same happiness? How could you be so heartless.

Karissa Shannon and Sam Jones III made a sex tape a while ago, which was then stolen from them by fame whores Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag (who are incidentally pretty close to being certifiable) who we actually thought were going to release their own sex tape before it turned out they didn't and then it gets a bit hazy.

Anyway, what's most important is that Karissa Shannon is an ex-Playboy bunny and Sam Jones Stupid Number is an actor on the children's Superman spin-off show, Smallville. Which means he'll probably have to become another talented thespian who does the difficult switch from Children's TV to porn, although hopefully with higher production values than John Leslie.

Finally, in case you weren't excited enough by now, here's Steven Hirsch, the president of Vivid (us connoisseurs know them as the Rolls Royce of gentlemen's cinema) when he spoke to TMZ: 

"Not only is it extremely kinky for a celeb sex tape, Karissa is absolutely beautiful. And as for Sam, let's just say he's no 'Smallville.' This is sure to be one of our all-time best sellers."

Also, there's a reason he paid them $450,000 for it:

“Its definitely the most extreme video that I’ve ever seen, as a celebrity tape. There’s everything you can imagine — whips, chains, handcuffs. It’s absolutely crazy."

The most extreme ever. Really makes you want to go and rip out your eyeballs doesn't it?