5Wayne Rooney with two more intelligent friendsadvertColeen Rooney with her parents - she's expected to throw him outColeen Rooney will find it hard to forgive Wayne now.

Wayne Rooney caught with prostitute. I hope that's spit.Wayne Rooney caught with prostitute. I hope that's spit.

Man United, with a prozzie's fanny
Sun, 05/09/2010 - 08:18 by Mr. HM

Wayne Rooney was last night having to explain to his wife why he spent thousands of pounds on a prostitute whilst she was pregnant with their child after two Sunday papers both claimed the exclusive expose. Excuse me for a sec... "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Following months of endless "which footballer has injuncted the papers this weekend" type rumours, the tabloids finally got a scalp.

According to both NOTW and The Sunday Mirror, Wayne slept with Jennifer Thompson seven times over a period of four months, giving her £1000 a time as compensation for having to look at what must be the worst cum face on the planet.

A friend quotes Rooney as saying:

"My life is in ruins...I've been so stupid. Coleen won't forgive me this time. She will leave me."

He booked the prozzie on a website which guarantees "ultimate discretion". Hmm they may need to rethink that. Jennifer says:

“He sent me SIM cards full of text messages and spoke to me on Skype using a false name. Whenever we met for sex, it was always in the same hotel.”

This could explain why England were so dismall in the World Cup though - If rumours are to believed there was massive internal unrest with the team over the behaviour of certain players with South African prostitutes. Can't imagine who they were on about tbh.

Wayne - Peter Crouch has a spare sofa, you fucking pleb.

Wayne Rooney prostitute, Celebrity Scandals, Celebrity Sex, Coleen Rooney, Wayne Rooney

Comments

  • What I want to know is, what's on the menu for £1,000 a night sex? When I sleep with my husband I get fuck all.

    whatthe. Mon, 06/09/2010 - 13:13

  • Coleen will go from strength to strength, Ashley's cheating made Cheryl, Coleen will play the sympathy card for all it's worth. Looks like Cheryl's got competition for the nation's sweetheart title.

    sbayley Mon, 06/09/2010 - 09:07

  • The funniest part is that people keep saying "But Colleen will be fine, she's forged a career in the media!" Doing what, exactly? She's presented some god-awful TV show called Colleen's Real Women (which just reminds me of the average fat/ugly bint dismissing anyone thinner/more attractive as "not a REAL woman, real women have curves/faces like smashed melons!"), but without her knuckle-dragging husband, she's kind of fucked in terms of public interest.

    Oh well. Looks like it's on to parading her spawn to OK! magazine every five minutes, a la Katona.

    retrovertigo Sun, 05/09/2010 - 23:56

  • Lets remind ourselves:

    http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-12733804-rooney-admits-sex-with-a-granny.do

    Did Colleen really honestly think a leopard would change its spots or was she just waiting for the ring and the kid to ensure some serious dough?

    GretaBritain Sun, 05/09/2010 - 18:42

  • Rooney has some serious issues in his life, especially regarding sex

    Silly cunt turned down some girl-on-girl for the same price! What a tool!

    jiggerycock Sun, 05/09/2010 - 17:36

  • With Coleen's fashion boot camp up and running you can bet Rooney's little soldier with be confined to barracks for a while.

    sbayley Sun, 05/09/2010 - 10:25

  • Personally, Just the tonic I need after a totally crap few months. Lets hope it all goes tits up for the sex mad troglodyte and his pointless Mrs.

    shitthebed Sun, 05/09/2010 - 08:51

  • Personally, Just the tonic I need after a totally crap few months. Lets hope it all goes tits up for the sex mad troglodyte and his pointless Mrs.

    shitthebed Sun, 05/09/2010 - 08:51

  • With Coleen's fashion boot camp up and running you can bet Rooney's little soldier with be confined to barracks for a while.

    sbayley Sun, 05/09/2010 - 10:25

  • Rooney has some serious issues in his life, especially regarding sex

    Silly cunt turned down some girl-on-girl for the same price! What a tool!

    jiggerycock Sun, 05/09/2010 - 17:36

  • Lets remind ourselves:

    http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-12733804-rooney-admits-sex-with-a-granny.do

    Did Colleen really honestly think a leopard would change its spots or was she just waiting for the ring and the kid to ensure some serious dough?

    GretaBritain Sun, 05/09/2010 - 18:42

  • The funniest part is that people keep saying "But Colleen will be fine, she's forged a career in the media!" Doing what, exactly? She's presented some god-awful TV show called Colleen's Real Women (which just reminds me of the average fat/ugly bint dismissing anyone thinner/more attractive as "not a REAL woman, real women have curves/faces like smashed melons!"), but without her knuckle-dragging husband, she's kind of fucked in terms of public interest.

    Oh well. Looks like it's on to parading her spawn to OK! magazine every five minutes, a la Katona.

    retrovertigo Sun, 05/09/2010 - 23:56

  • Coleen will go from strength to strength, Ashley's cheating made Cheryl, Coleen will play the sympathy card for all it's worth. Looks like Cheryl's got competition for the nation's sweetheart title.

    sbayley Mon, 06/09/2010 - 09:07

  • What I want to know is, what's on the menu for £1,000 a night sex? When I sleep with my husband I get fuck all.

    whatthe. Mon, 06/09/2010 - 13:13

Related Stories

Article Timeline