Wayne Rooney, a man who seems to spend most of his time shuttling between hooker-filled hotel rooms and hooker-filled retirement homes, is in even more trouble than he was yesterday as another overly friendly Mancunian prostitute prepares to tell all about her threesome with him and Jenny Thompson.

The girl is supposed to be slim, blonde, in her 20s and a big face on the Manchester scene, whatever that means. Apparently Thompson and this mysterious girl actually went out of their way to tempt Dennis the Menace lookalike Wayne into the threesome, which was his first, poor little lamb. 

What's even more surprising is that according to claims by Thompson's 'friends' it wasn't the first Premiership footballer she's slept with, and even worse, she's been seen doing sex acts in club toilets for £75 (seems a bit strange they know exactly what she charged, but not what she did. Journalistic integrity, that is)

How Thompson and her wingslut managed to tempt a married professional footballer into cheating on his other half is a total mystery, especially given the exceptionally high moral values in the England squad at the moment. Maybe Crouch made him do it. Yeah, that's probably what it was.