In light of John Galliano’s guilty verdict today, we thought it might be nice to treat you to a nice long list of some of the more light-hearted and LOLsome celebrity lawsuits. You know, to take your mind off how John’s “triple addiction” to booze, sleeping pills and Valium somehow made him hate the Jews and all that. Admittedly, some are suing cases rather than actual criminal charges, but you get the lists you deserve, people.

Nicolas Cage vs Kathleen Turner
Kathleen “Chandler’s dad” Turner angered Nic Cage by claiming in her 1986 memoir that Nic had gone on a bender and nicked someone’s Chihuahua. Nic (who owns a hundred castles) responded by bringing a libel case against her and her publishers, who quickly backed down and apologised. All the while, the Chihuahua in question was hidden in Cage’s massive box of hairpieces.

Jaime Pressly charged with drink driving
This one is funny because Jaime Pressly plays Earl’s ex-wife Joy in My Name Is Earl, and Joy is a mean, out of control drunk. So, you know, life imitating art and all that. Oh SNAP!

Lindsay Lohan vs Talking Babies
LiLo was not impressed when a financial-services company “used her name and characterisation” without permission, by referring to a baby called Lindsay, who is a ‘milkaholic’. The lawsuit asserts that this could not possibly be a coincidence, and she is owed big time, because she has gained one-word fame, like Cher, Oprah and Madonna. That aside, we think it’s pretty hilarious that she’s actually admitting to her drink problem as part of her ‘characterisation’: way to not be defined by your flaws, Linds! She’s seeking $100million in damages, because she’s mad as a box of badgers.

Peaches Geldof vs The Daily Star
Our favourite celebrity offspring (apart from Kelly Osbourne, obviously) successfully sued the Daily Star in 2010 because they claimed in 2008 that she had worked as a prostitute. Geldof is currently claiming the Daily Mail stretched her neck to make her look like a famine victim, we just don't know whose side to take.

Mel Gibson also anti-Semitic
“My life is fucked. I’m not going to get in your car… You motherfucker. I’m going to fuck you… Fucking Jews… The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Jew?… What do you think you’re looking at, Sugartits?”

That pretty much sums up the moment when Mum’s Fave Mel looked his career in the eyes and screwed it into the ground. See also: Gibson vs Grigorieva.

Rip Torn gets confused, breaks into bank
In possibly the best celebrity felony ever, Rip Ton was arrested for breaking into a bank, drunk out of his head and armed with a loaded gun. Because he mistook it for his house. Rip was released on $100,000 bail, with one of his charges cited as “third degree criminal mischief”. Now, yes, he has a serious drinking problem, and yes, someone could have been shot and killed, but let’s just calm down and revel in the fact that at least Rip’s addiction issues didn’t see him be mean to the Jews, or waffle on about ‘tiger blood’, eh?

Celebrities, eh? Where would we be without them? This site would probably be a place where people shared photos of Jesus’ face made out of freckles and moles, or where garden mammals would come to share their philosophical beliefs.