In all the recent excitement with Jamie Oliver finding buried treasure in his basement and a large portion of the HM readership calling us homophobic twats, we almost forgot to report on Bryyan (two ys, no i) Mcfadden's attempt to start a fight on Twitter.

Apparently a user called JohnRiot had recently been goading the porky Irish singer, calling him all sorts of horrible names and possibly even swearing at him. On its own this probably wouldn't have affected Bryyyan, but when it's done on his very favourite self-promotional social network, he simply won't stand for it. Here's a blow by blow account:

"@JohnRiot your a cunt face. If you want a go let's do it. I live in woolloomooloo. You know where I am. Bring it on juice junkie. One on one

Hey steroids face @johnriot I am absolutely up for a one on one pikey fight. You have insulted me and my family. Let's end this!!!

@JohnRiot come on you old lesbian. Put your fucking money where your juiced up mouth is !!!!!

Fuck these cyber bullies! Let's take a stand!!!!

Fuck that. Let's stoop to there level !!!!

Come on @johnriot speak up. Let's do it. Stop hiding behind the internet. You know who I am and where I am ! Stand up

@warwickcapper fuck them Warwick. Let's take control."

Yeah, fuck them, Warwick.

"@JohnRiot blocked your account? Changed your profile picture? You fucking coward. Not that it matters. I know exactly who you are!

I call for a new law that people should have to officially register before being entitled to their freedom of speech on line. #cyberbullies

Apology to all My lesbian friends for calling @johnriot a leso. How dare me paint him with your beautiful brush x

At least when a journo tears me to shreds they stand by what they say. These cowardly cyber bullies say shit then run and hide behind a mac"

Yeah, JohnRiot! Come and fight us too! And you, Warwick! We'll fight you all! And Bryyan's 'leso' friends! We'll give you all a good old fashioned kicking!

See, it's very easy to get carried away, especially when you're having a bit of a tough time, isn't it? Poor Bryyyyyyan.

"Eating alone........ Sucks!

Good trick to eating alone. Order two drinks so iT looks like your waiting for someone and your not just a lonely weirdo."

Great trick, Bryyan.