It's getting a bit tedious having to listen to Cher Lloyd go on and on about her merciless hectoring at the hands of at least ten different internet bullies. Not that it's not a terrible, awful thing to happen to any teenager*, but most right thinking people lost interest in cyber crime after they realised it had absolutely no effect on their ability to watch porn or buy useless crap on eBay.

Although, in the square-faced Worcester rapper's defence, she has tried to explain exactly why the bullying has affected her so much more than it seems to have affected other child geniuses like say, that pair of haircare specialists Jedward. (Via Disorder Magazine)

"I'm an oddbod, I'm an old lady trapped inside a young woman's body, which isn't a bad thing.

"The life of partying isn't meant for me. Sometimes... it sounds really weird... but I don't believe I'm human."

That should certainly shut the bullies up. From what we remember of school, it was saying things very similar to this that helped Mark Simmons win the coveted award of Most Time Spent In A Bin In During One School Day. Hi Mark!

*Don't forget everyone, she's still only 18.