Oh Chloë Sevigny, you're such an exciting role model for young, underfed girls who want to differentiate themselves from the norm by acting raw and edgy and jaded. 

You smoke Marlborough Reds with no filter and you always sneer, even in family photos. You once broke your middle finger so that when it healed it would be permanently stuck in a fuck-you gesture, and there's a rumour going round that you once gave birth to a book of Martine McCutcheon's poetry because it was just too ironic.

Best of all though, you hate Manchester, and as we all know, there's nothing cool or good about Manchester. For starters it's full of people who eat so much you can't see their internal organs and they don't finish their sentences with clever, cutting bon mots. A shithole, basically. 

In fact it's the arsehole of the UK, the spittoon of the North and worst of all, it ends with Hester, a word that's only that's only cool if it's the name of a girl born after 1995. Still, you were there for five months last year to film the TV series Hit and Miss, so you should know:

“It was very hard being in Manchester,” 

“It was one of the grimmest places that I’d ever been in my entire life, and I was there for so long. I hardly had any visitors. I was so alone. And it rained every single day I was there.”

“I was like, 'I’ve gotta get the hell out of here. I’m not staying one more night just to hear them,’ so I left.”

That last sentence? That's exactly what she was like.