As Kerry Katona and Katie Price gradually fade out of the public eye, millions of disenfranchised office workers across the country are genuinely starting to worry that in less than year there will be no-one left for them to aim their surprising intense hatred at. The kind of hatred that on most days needs at least three quarters of a TOWIE or two full Kardashians to soak up.

Which is why it's so brave of N-Dunce lead singer Dappy to step into the breach, willingly taking the abuse from a nation that needs someone even more pointlessly and unjustifiably self-absorbed than most of the journalists who write about him. We're talking about everyone else of course. None of that kind of nonsensical narcissm here at HM HQ.

Oh Dappy. The only good thing you've ever done was to prove exactly how important education is. Not for the purpose of earning loads of money, a process that reality TV has comprehensively shown has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence, talent or even the ability to speak in full sentences, but because you might end up with a child who can't sign autographs. (Via Now)

'When I was 15 I used to walk around with a pen in my pocket hoping that people would think I was famous and ask me for my autograph,'.

'My long-term girlfriend from Greece came over to England and I paid someone a fiver to ask me for my autograph.

'She was like: "Wow!" I felt so good! Ha ha, I can't believe I did that.'

'Me and school, we did have our problems,'

'But I got my English [an A* at GCSE].

'I was good with my vocabulary and I wanted to sort my maths out so I knew what I was doing when it came to money.'

So there you go kids, get your English and you too could one day be a top selling pop act. You can probably find someone else who sorted their maths out to do your accounting anyway. Stupid nerds.

Incidentally the gallery above is from Dappy's celebration party, held after he recently reached number one for a song called 'No Regrets', a song in which he says he understands why Chris Brown did what he did. We're assuming he's talking about buying a Lamborghini.