Sir Alan Sugar has a lot in common with Holy Moly. We both love doing brunch, we both love watching our portfolios outperform the FTSE 100, we both love telling people with undiagnosed personality disorders they're morons and we both love burning money in front of tramps and then urinating on them.

And yet, Sir Alan's American alter-ego Donald Trump still refuses to be our pal, considering himself too important for the likes of us. Apparently the man who discovered Lady Gaga doesn't have time for anyone who isn't a millionaire, a billionaire, attractive, talented or Lady Gaga. Did you know that he discovered Lady Gaga? Well he did. Just goes to show, when you think you know someone, BAM, it turns out you don't. You don't know them at all. (Via Contactmusic)

"I own the Miss Universe Pageant. And about four years ago, during what you call half-time, we always have an entertainer. We've had a lot of great people, and you don't pay them anything because it's one of the biggest audiences and my people told me, 'Nobody knows who she is but there's this woman with good talent named Lady Gaga.' And I said, 'Give me a break.' And then they said, 'She's really good.' So I said, 'I don't care, if you like her, put her on.'

"So we put her on... it was live all over the United States and all over the world and the next day, nobody was talking about (the winner of) Miss Universe, everybody was talking, 'Who was the woman, who was the entertainer? She was unbelievable.'"

"She's been very gracious about it... About a year ago, when she was so hot, and she's hot now, she was performing at Radio City Musical Hall and there were a lot of celebrities, all sitting next to me, and her manager came up during the performance and said, 'Gaga wants to see you, but only Donald Trump.' And it was embarrassing because of all these people and she remembered. I don't want to say we made Lady Gaga, but she was incredible and that was her break."

In other news, here's a video of us with our friend Al. What a character he is.