'Would you dance if she asked you to dance?' Is a question Enrique Iglesias dreads. For the man who once sung about trembling your lips, kissing away your pain and being your hero buhey-beh has a deep, dark secret. A sexy secret. A sexy secret about his penis. His tiny little penis. HE CAN BE YOUR PENIS BAYBEH.

That's right, working class Spanish tradesman Henry the Glazier was singing all those songs wot he wrote about love and sex and emphysema in Australia's cultural capital Melbourne recently, when he suddenly decided to sit the audience down for a frank chat about his sexual habits and the size of his love trident. No one knows why, it just happened. Like a drunken fumble at a Cheap Trick concert. (Via The Sun):

"I grew up with a lot of my friends and all of them lost their virginity with hookers, not that there's anything wrong with that.

"They had to pay for it. I wanted to wait for the right girl so I waited until I was 25."

"I was nervous as shit the first time.

"Usually the first time is not the best. Let me be honest, I was 17-and-a-half, I was so nervous. It lasted ten seconds."

"I don't even last eight minutes now."

"What does Spanish good looks have to do with the size of your penis? Maybe I have the Spanish looks but I have the smallest penis in the world. I'm serious."

Is he in too deep? Has he lost his mind? Possibly and probably.

I CAN BE YOUR HERO BUHAYBEE. I CUN TAKEAWAY YOUR TEEERS. WELOVEYOUENRIQUE