In the future, when we all have the option to get bionic limbs and organs installed, the Hollywood gutterati are almost certainly going to be some of the first adopters of this most unholy of technologies. In fact, assuming it happens in the next 15 or 20 years (we're celebrity journalists, not gods for Christ's sake) it'll probably be someone like Taylor Momsen who has one of the first cybernetic boobs installed, one that can make tea, show TV and print train tickets or something. 

Not that we'll give two hoots about her by that time, so maybe we'll just call her a silly old grotbag now. TAYLOR  MOMSEN IS SO STUPID WITH HER BIG METAL TIT. WHAT AN IDIOT. SHE'S TOO OLD TO BE DOING THIS TYPE OF THING. WHAT A BIG, STINKY FARTBOX SHE IS. Now, to the future with you, capitalised text...

Unfortunately that future is a long, long way away, so until then we'll just have to make do with Gwyneth Paltrow and the butchery she wants to take place all over her well-sucked chest. Not that she believes in cosmetic surgery of course, but you know, maybe a bit here and a bit there, you know, because saying 'a little something here and here' isn't really surgery, is it? You know?

"Before I didn't care about it. And I still refuse to use silicone, Botox or any other of those gimmicks out of pure vanity. But a breast correction after breast-feeding - why not?"

Speaking to OK Germany doesn't mean you can say whatever you like Gwyneth Paltrow. Not in this internet age. Also, surely the breast correction is for vanity? Still, what do we know about breasts? It's not like we get called unbelievably misogynistic at least twice a week.