Today marks a sad day for fans of relationships between loathsome celebrities with extra large chests and unknown models from Argentina. No, Jodie Marsh and Lionel Messi haven't separated - they were never together, silly. Instead, the devastating news we have no choice but to break is that Katie Price and Leandro Penna have brought their love to and end. Although it could easily have been by mistake, because neither of them can actually understand a word each other say.

The pair have had enough of the language barrier between them and decided to call their relationship a day. Which is a shame. For nobody.

The best bit about this isn't the fact that Katie Price has got through another man faster than we can get through a bag of Quavers, but the fact that they had to use an interpreter to end the relationship for them. It's sort of like in primary school when you got your mate to dump your girlfriend for you. The only difference is, in this case, the mental capacity of both parties involved in the break up is less than that of any primary school pupil.

Anyway, enough of our mean jibes, a long-term relationship has ended guys, this is no matter to be joking about. Let's hear what the Sunday Mirror's source - who appears to have broken the heartbreaking news - had to say about it:

"It's over. The truth is Leandro was homesick and felt isolated being in the UK without any of his friends or family. He also wasn't working at all and was just under Katie's feet as she ­carried on with her life and career."

Translation: there is only so long you can spend as Katie Price's lapdog before you want to top yourself...

"He decided it would be a good idea to return to Argentina and see his family, and try to get work. She agreed it was probably for the best. He doesn't speak good English, she's been busy on book and magazine ­signings across the country and he's bored out of his mind."

Translation: there is only so long you can spend as Katie Price's lapdog before you want to top yourself...

"He's bored with living in the shadow and wants to find work and make a life for himself. Katie knew in her heart that it was coming."

Translation: there is only so long you can spend as Katie Price's lapdog before you want to top yourself...

And there is only so long we can spend discussing Katie Price and her conveyor belt of men before we want to top ourselves. The sooner she goes to Pets At Home and gets herself a cat the better.