For reasons beyond our meagre understanding, Noel and Liam Gallagher have been fighting like two angry beekeepers over who makes the best honey. Noel's being a bugger, Liam's being a bugger, and now the whole thing's ended up in the courts. Oh boys.

Theoretically we would have thought Judge Sweeney McBastard would immediately have thrown this kind of hare-brained nonsense out of his court, but apparently that's not how the legal system works and even naughty boys like Noel and Liam get their crack at justice.

Of course, like all family fights, absolutely no-one outside of those immediately related to the pair by blood gives even the slightest shit  what it's about, they just want to watch the resulting violence. In this case, the tussle is over Noel's accusation that Liam didn't turn up to a gig in 2009 because he was hung over, which has forced Liam to sue Noel for libel:

'That is a lie and I want Oasis fans to know the truth.

'I was gutted when I couldn't play the gig because I didn't want to let the fans down. The truth is I had laryngitis, diagnosed by a doctor, preventing me performing that night.'

A source close to Liam also spoke to The Sun about the singer's pain at his brother's betrayal:

'Liam felt he had no choice but the courts. He feels a mix of anger at how he has been treated by his own elder brother and sadness it has come to this,'

'Liam is an old-school rock star. I'm sure there have been times when he has taken to the stage after a big one the night before. But that night he had laryngitis.

'He lived for being the frontman of Oasis and singing in front of millions of fans.'

'Liam is an old-school rock star'. Strange way of putting it. Still, perhaps we can start using that delightful turn of phrase. 'Katie Price is a massive old-school rock star'. Yup. Seems to work.