Here at Holy Moly, we are all bald, because of last month’s infestation of hair-eating weevils. We had felt all self-conscious and upset, and the wigs we ordered off QVC still haven’t come so we’ve not even left the office since weevil day. But now that Matt Damon and Jake Gyllenhaal are sporting shiny bald heads, we’re coming to terms with our follicle free bonces.

Matt Damon is loving his baldilocks, except for the fact that people keep comparing it to Jake Gyllenhaal’s. How very frustrating: no sooner does he pop out with his new look, than Jake rocks up with the exact same look. And he’s doing it better!

“Wow, I try not to envy, but I have to say Jake's got a damn good-looking head,

"He sure does have a beautiful round head.

"Normally you say, 'That's a beautiful head of hair, but that's a beautiful head he's got. Gyllenhaal definitely gets the blue ribbon for the best bald head over me."

We get it, Matt, Jake’s bald head is nice-looking. Calm down, yeah?

But what about other bald heads, Matt? Don't forget about other baldy actors...