You would have thought anyone who puts their entire life on display for the television cameras genuinely wouldn't have that much hassle from stalkers, especially when these cameras continually expose them as the most boring people on the planet. After all, stalkers like a challenge*. 

Having said that, as a general rule, if the carefully edited highlight reel for your TV show has you speaking nonsense to a cat-sized dog for ten minutes of a thirty minute program there's a real possibility you not only have nothing to offer to potential stalkers, but the planet as a whole and possibly even the universe, although there's always a possibility we'll meet an alien race that only feeds on human brains with a massively swollen self-involvement lobe. Hopefully. That or zombies anyway. Zombies will eat anything.

So anyway, a topless man was arrested in Paris' house yesterday, the same guy who was given three years probation and ordered to stay 200 yards away from her property back in January after trying to contact her. The man, called James Rainford was taken into custody around 4.30pm on Monday and is being held pending a $20,000 bail. Personally, we'd like to maybe see if we can get him out and stalking again. Nothing keeps these vacuous celebs in check better than the throught of an overweight middle-aged man rustling though their bins. Kind of like a rubbish Batman.

So, they'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent creepy guy. A watching-from-the-bushes protector. A Celebrity Stalker.

*From what we've heard.