While Pete Burns may look a lot like he's been looted and firebombed by opportunistic rioters, there's actually a very astute mind behind those slightly gluey features and those massive dangling nuts. A mind that not only immediately spotted John and Edward Grimes as a pair of trojan horses carrying the downfall of modern society in their Haribo stained guts, but also one that is happy to go on record to make sure everyone else knew it too. Still, he has got massive nuts.

So, being a pair of silly boys who've yet to do anything other than raise awareness over the destructive effects of adult illiteracy should theoretically preclude Celebrity Big Brother Contestants Jedward from receiving any kind of abuse, but unfortunately it doesn't. Making people smile by acting like only a small part of your brain works is not a skill, it's an illness. Not that Pete Burns cares. He just thinks they're a pair of twats, according to the Daily Star:

“They are a two-headed monster of twattishness! The producers should have split them up – separated them completely so we could watch them bubble into meltdown and kill their careers. Those stupid gormless looks they always wear give me the creeps.”

"They are just creepy. They’re asexual, unattractive, juvenile and stupid. Unfortunately I think the public might let them win."

Still, until the diagnosis for whatever parasite is eating its way through both their brains becomes formal, we're more than happy to watch them dance around on CBB until Darryn flips out and puts them down with tear gas emitted from his chest slugs. Hopefully.