Anna Faris, last seen giving her child to Monica and Chandler, is trying for a baby in real life. This means she's having regular sex with her husband, who we were quite surprised to find out is Parks and Recreation's Andy Dwyer. We know this because he recently announced via Twitter that they were looking for a new home for their elderly cat because, as everyone knows, babies and animal poo don't mix.

We'd like to imagine that Andy Dwyer is Andy Dwyer in real life and thus married to April and making a living from being an incompetent shoe-shiner, but he's actually called Chris Pratt and recently sent a tweet looking for a new owner for his cat, writing:

"Anyone in the LA area want a cat? Full disclosure, she’s old and prone to accidents. So sweet though. And was in Stuart Little (literally)… She is very sweet and needs a good home. We have pugs and she’s too old to deal (with them). She needs one on one attention.”

Naturally death threats ensued, which led to him writing a full blog post: 

I found my aging (sic) cat a god damn loving home! Ease up with the death threats for heaven’s sake!

“Bottom line, and not that this is any of your [bleeping] business weirdos, but my wife [Anna Faris] and I want to start a family and we ABSOLUTELY CANNOT have an animal that [bleep] all over the house. Sorry. If you are a parent you will understand. And if not, that probably explains why you have such a hard on (erection) for cats. Just sayin.’

“I mean, really? So what I used twitter to give away our pet? I have some people who follow me and I thought maybe somebody would be thrilled to have my old cat. And guess what … Somebody was! Her name is Meghan and as far as I could tell she is a perfectly reasonable, sweet and friendly cat lover.

“I met her to make sure she wasn’t a weirdo before handing the cat over. She is from the same area of the country that my wife and I are from. She has no other pets and was fully aware of Bella’s problems. And despite all that, still opened up her home!… So please! Stop with the harassing tweets! That [bleep] affects me. I’m human.”

So there you have it - Anna Faris with a baby bump or adopted child imminently. Woman called Meghan with a shitty floor but famous cat called Bella. Sweet, everyone's a winner.

BTW, we're aware that this story is only of interest if you watch Parks and Rec (or have a hard-on for Faris), but you really should - it's ace. April so wouldn't care about cat poo on her floor.