Interesting fact: Tupac Shakur is STILL ALIVE and currently runs a celebrity gossip website under the moniker Boss Wellington. You might be SLIGHTLY SKEPTICAL OF THIS, WHICH IS TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE, but how else would he know that LATE 2011 would be the best possible time for him to cash in on his very own SEX TAPE, despite apparently having been DEAD FOR OVER 15 YEARS? Exactly.

If you're not convinced by that, then how about this: Boss Wellington is a term used to describe people from the capital city of NEW ZEALAND, a country whose capital used to be AUCKLAND, a name very similar to the AUK seabird, a bird that has a sharp beak (can you see what's coming?), one that could easily cut through human skin, perhaps causing a SHARP AUK CUT. Rearrange those letters and what to you get? Tupac Shakur of course. It was right in front of you the whole time.

Anyway, back to Tupac's porn video, a video which apparently not only exists, but has been seen by one of our favourite rival websites, TMZ:

"The tape, shot in 1991, begins with a bunch of groupies in a living room during a house party. Tupac walks into the room with his pants down to his ankles, his shirt off ... sporting several chains.

Tupac -- whose head is shaved -- pulls one of the women toward him, and she begins performing oral sex. As she does her thing, an unreleased song of Tupac's is playing in the background, as Tupac is singing along and dancing, wiggling his hips.  

And it gets even better. As the woman services Tupac, who is holding a cocktail in one hand and a blunt in another, Money B from Digital Underground walks over to him. Tupac puts his cocktail arm around Money B, continues singing and dancing ... and the woman never stops.

As the tape ends it appears he's ready to begin sexual intercourse. It's unclear if there's another tape."

Even better news is that the owner of the tape intends to release it! Isn't that great! Nothing would make us happier during this non-sectarian festive season than seeing a dead man receiving a blow job from a woman who's now probably in her early forties.