We had been saving these semi-naked pictures of Melanie Sykes in this months' Esquire for a rainy day. Essentially, since Melanie is 41 and still very attractive, we though it was important that we didn't discourage other 41-year-old women from posing pictures of themselves naked, who maybe didn't feel they could match up. Sensitive to your feelings, that's what we are.

Of course, we then realised that perhaps the best thing for everyone was if we encouraged some kind of 41-yea-old naked top trumps, where say despite one 41-year-old women having a low breast perkiness index, she could still make up for it with a solid score in both firmness of bottom and leg and arm muscle tone.

Then we got told off for objectifying women again. IT'S NOT OBJECTIFYING, IT'S SIMPLY MAKING THEM COMPETE BASED ENTIRELY ON PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? YOU DON'T SEE UGLY PEOPLE WINNING X FACTOR, DO YOU?