Please can we swap our Duchess of Cambridge for Spain's Duchess of Alba? Look at her, she's brilliant! 

Obviously we don't know anything about this woman - she may punch bulls in her spare time for all we know, but she's 85 and married a man 24 years her junior at a ceremony where she wore a lovely pink frock and did a little flamenco dance.

According to Guinness World Records, the duchess - whose full name is Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva - has more titles recognised by an existing government than any other noble. 

And while we were doing our research, which is the most we've learnt about any European royal since we read a copy of Hello! at the dentist ten years ago, we also discovered that she met her new husband, a social security administration employee, through her second husband, a former priest who died in 2001.

She also revealed that her kids are pissed off about the fact that she's remarried, saying:

"They don't want me to marry, but they change partners more often than I do.

"The tough part was that my children didn't understand and they got quite angry with me."

Stupid skeptical children thinking an admin employee might be marrying an old lady for her £3 billion fortune and not love.