Hey nerds, Captain America is nearly here and when it arrives we're all going to wait outside the cinema so we can duff you up, eat your lunch and piss in your rucksacks. OH LOOK AT ME, I'M DRESSING UP IN A LEOTARD AND THROWING A DINNER PLATE AT PEOPLE. AREN'T I JUST THE MOST PRECIOUS LITTLE PRINCESS.

Said Robert Downey Jr said to assembled fans at the recent New York premiere. In fact, we actually caught him, along with Samuel L Jackson and Chris Hemsworth trying to draw penises on the back of Chris Pine's suit as he was talking ot the press. Poor little Chris Pine. He was just about ready to start crying his eyes out. In fact, it was only when fellow Craptain Shamerica star Hayley Atwell turned up with her surprisingly muscular triceps that Jackson and co. scampered off and were later found trying to set a dog on fire with a can of Lynx. Or Axe as it's known in America.

Anyway, alongside the film's main stars we also had Zoe Saldana, Vanessa Hudgens, Jesse Metcalfe and several people we'd never even heard of. Points if you know who any of them are…