The BFI London Film Festival Awards aren't exactly The Teen Choices - you're unlikely to get Jack Black somersaulting down the red carpet. Good. So what can you expect? Well, Edith Bowman, David Cronenberg, Gillian Anderson, Anne-Marie Duff, Sam Taylor-Wood, Aaron Johnson, Terry Gilliam and We Need To Talk About Kevin getting a standing ovation.

We haven't seen We Need To Talk About Kevin, so can't really judge it, although we are still a bit disappointed that it beat The Descendants, which was also nominated and is really ace (as is other nominee, Shame). Anyway, as we said, because we haven't seen it, we can't say too much about it so thought we'd instead have a think about how many Kevins actually do need to be talked about...

• Kevin Davies: a great goalscorer who made his England debut at a pleasingly old age, so, yes, worth talking about
• Kevin Bacon: six degrees from everyone, so, yes, worth talking about
• Kevin Connolly: the short one from Entourage - no, not worth talking about
• Kevin Dillon: the funny one from Entourage, so, yes, worth talking about
• Kevin Kennedy: Curly Watts from Corrie - yes, a legend so still worth talking about
• Kevin Smith: the fat director who made Dogma - no, not worth talking about (anymore)
• Kevin Federline: Britney's fat ex who once had cornrows - no, not worth talking about
• Kevin James: the fat one from King of Queens and other bad films - no, not worth talking about
• Kevin Costner: playing Superman's dad next, so, yep, worth talking about again 
• Kevin Spacey: weirdly private, ahem, but has been in great films, so, yep, worth talking about
• Kevin Jonas: a Jonas brother, so, nope, never worth talking about
• Kevin Kline: we thought he was French for years, so worth talking about just for that
• Kevin Bishop: Star Stories was ace, so definitely worth talking about - especially if he does another series
• Kevin Pieterson: married to Jessica from Liberty X so worth talking about regardless of being a cricket bore
• Kevin McCloud: does good stuff with houses so, yep, worth talking about
• Kevin Webster: erm, yes, worth talking about - although perhaps that should be left to the police