Welcome to Gazza's life…

Three days after he was told he faces a spell in prison for alleged drink-driving, and two days after he was detained on suspicion of cocaine possession, Paul Gascoigne was rushed to hospital after drunkenly trashing a hotel room in Gateshead. Well, a Premier Inn in Gateshead.

A source said: "There was chicken curry smeared all over the TV and desk and up the walls. There was sick all over the floor and up the walls.

"There were cigarettes stubbed out on the sheets. There was a corner with ash everywhere. He couldn't speak. He needs help."

Bloody hell, this is depressing. We're just waiting for the poor bastard to die - or that's how it feels.

Gazza is currently drying out in a rehab centre in Dorset. Good luck with that.