Happy Lady Gaga Day everybody! Oh no, wait, the Metro pre-release stream ruined that for everyone, didn't it? Oh well, Born This Way is officially released today (May 23).

Let's get one thing straight before we start the review: Born This Way is not the giant avant garde leap into the pop unknown that half of the media seemed to think it was going to be. Lady Gaga is, as you should all know, a pop artist. And Lady Gaga has produced, as you should all expect, a pop album. It is nothing more than a compilation of pop songs, with the added oddity we know and love raise our eyebrows at her for.

It all gets off to a bit of an underwhelming start with Marry The Night - the customary 'night out' track, though thankfully it doesn't mention anything about being 'in the club', the 'hotel lobby' or with any 'shawtys'. Nonetheless, it's the type of song we'd expect to hear on a Cascada album, and one which should have been reversed with its successor, Born This Way, as the starting track.

What comes next, however, is the most outrageous song we've heard in a long time: Government Hooker. Hooker is the 'WTF' song of the album, interweaving between opera and electro and featuring lines such as: "put your hands on me, John F. Kennedy/I'll make you squeal, baby, as long as you pay me." It is quite simply ridiculous. But, dare we say it, ridiculously good.

And it's not the only time Gaga verges on the ridiculously good throughout Born This Way. We had heard everybody raving about Hair (stubbornly refusing to believe the hype ourselves), but as soon as it began we didn't even have to go back and check what the title was: it already sounded amazing. One of four RedOne produced tracks, it's got everything we want in a pop song - the suspenseful start, the relentless beats, the euphoric chorus and the crucial a capella clapping section. It's an odd sentiment - "I'm as free as my hair" - but it works.

Unfortunately (yeah, here's the negative bit), the album wavers just a little too much. Amongst the gold, there are one too many 'meh' moments, with the likes of Americano, Scheiße, Bloody Mary and Bad Kids proving to be vaguely catchy but unrevolutionary attempts at pop. Did she seriously think she could write a song based on the German word for 'shit' and get away with it not being, well, merde? Luckily for Gaga, it isn't as crap as Heavy Metal Lover, which is the song we'll make sure to skip from now on. "I want your whiskey mouth all over my blonde south" and "Dirty pony I can't wait to hose you down" are just two of the lines that put us off ever lunching, let alone our loving.

We'll finish on a positive note, though, as Born This Way finishes on one too. Before the masterpiece that is The Edge of Glory [Seriously?! - Ed] concludes the record, we are treated to the Queen-esque power ballad You And I - which features the actual Brian May on guitar. The song sums up the album perfectly. Just as Born This Way had been trailed as the album that would change music forever, You And I builds up to a climax that it doesn't quite reach. It is still a great song, but it doesn't achieve the heights we hoped it would.

It's good, but it's not that good.