You know how Camden Town is utterly unbearable at weekends? The punks holding signs for tattoo parlours can barely move for foreign students getting hair wraps. Well wouldn’t it be the worst idea in the world to hold an indie music festival in Camden at the weekend too? That’s what we always thought. Hating both indie and crowds as we do, we have spent the previous nine Camden Crawls at home feeling smug that we weren’t at Camden Crawl. So you could knock us down with an overpriced Kate Moss t-shirt when we found ourselves attending said festival this year.

Still, in the spirit of trying everything once, we got our wristbands (never did find out what the paper white one did) and found the Red Bull Bedroom Jam Outdoor Live Arena (if we were going to mention that again we’d need an acronym) and watched a man in a bad shirt shouting. It wasn’t very good but a lady gave us free flavoured beer which tasted like Top Deck (i.e. much nicer than beer).

We found the early stages of Camden Crawl a bit annoying because there are things going on in every available space but we didn’t know which ones were good so we went and had a sit down in a comedy club and watched some Irishmen rapping. On the way we saw a tramp in a trolley.

Anyway, the first band we actually wanted to see were The Staves (remember their name) who were playing to an almost full to bursting Lock Tavern. You’d have to have the heart of the worst bastard imaginable to not love what The Staves do, which is sing really lovely songs in exquisite 3-part harmony with the most beautiful voices it’s possible to hear in a sweaty pub. This was only slightly ruined by a drunk German man outside shouting “arseholes” during a quiet bit.

After that we went to the outside terrace of The Roundhouse and watched Dog Is Dead. We didn’t hate them. Our Crawl companion suggested we go and see Jeremy And The Picnic but we think she was making them up.

Annies on the Kentish Town Road wins our ‘best toilets’ award, but we’re already noting that Camden Crawl is remarkably unscummy. Our prejudices have been shattered. Anyway, we were at Annies to see The Staves. We don’t know if you’ve heard about The Staves but they’re three sisters who sing the most sumptuous West Coast pop and English folk tinged songs it’s possible to hear in a packed posh bar. This is only slightly ruined by a sexist heckler shouting: “Is there a fourth sister at home who’s fat and ugly?” during a quiet bit.

At this point it occurs to us we’re going to have to summarise things a bit or this is going to go on forever. So... we saw The Good Natured at The Monarch (any Britpop historian will tell you it’s not the real Monarch) who spent the gig writhing on audience members, but not us (sad face). Watched a bit of The View, which was a mistake. Saw Sweden’s Those Dancing Days play a blinder ever though they clearly couldn’t hear themselves. Hugged a man. Ate bad pizza. Watched a Cornish boyband version of The Pogues called Crowns. Texted everyone we knew to tell them Crowns were our favourite new band. Watched Cloud Control because their PR has been telling us to listen to them for ages and we like him. They were good. Home. Bed.

We weren’t going to go on Sunday because we thought we’d hate Saturday so much, but despite all the Indie, Camden Crawl is so well organised and thought out that we actually had a good time. We don’t know how people using the fold out schedule fared but using the amazing iPhone app meant we never had to think about where to go. And the timings were spot on. We didn’t miss anyone but neither was there any hanging about watching roadies search for wires. Result.

Anyway, on Sunday we didn't see Odd Future because they were billed as OFWGTKA and we forgot that was also their name. It’s probably for the best as we heard things got a bit riot-y. But we did slip into the back of a hushed Guillemots acoustic gig before going to see The Staves. Have you heard about The Staves? Well, they’re... they’re our favourite new band in the whole world basically. So we went to see them three times in one weekend. That’s not weird, is it? And then we went to see Guillemots doing a proper electric set. They were brilliant, obviously, but the audience in The Forum was the same that goes to V Festival - i.e. teenage girls who are only there so they can text their friends to say they’ve seen a band from off the telly and then shriek at each other in voices louder than the music (until we told them to shut up because we’re far too old and ugly to care about teenage girls glaring at us for the rest of the evening). And then we watched The Lemonheads. Or Evan Dando and two men, anyway. And despite Evan defiantly determined to be the last grunge junkie (seriously, even Kurt would’ve got clean by now), and despite him managing to play about 20 songs in half an hour (the key is to start the next song as soon as the last one finishes, without pausing to acknowledge the applause, the audience or even where you are) he’s still got it and those songs are still fucking gorgeous.

We walked home past the queue for Johnny Borrell and his all-new Razorlights, only briefly considering going in for amusement purposes. Later we found out he played some new songs called Vertical Woman and If It Bleeds. You couldn’t make him up.

That was still a bit long. Sorry.

http://www.thecamdencrawl.com