The Marriage Ref is something of a poisoned chalice, its US original being helmed by Jerry Seinfeld meant it got a lot of positive attention before being viciously panned by most critics. Add into the mix that the first episode of the UK version features Ginger Spice, and things aren’t looking good. But still, we were feeling a bit sorry for ourselves, and the cat had fallen asleep on the remote, so we decided to watch it.

The show brings three couples to present their marital problems before a panel of celebrities, who then deliberate and decide who is in the right. The first episode’s panel consists of Jimmy Carr, the aforementioned Halliwell and HM fave Sarah Millican, to whom we would turn for advice on literally everything.

Our mismatched panel discuss to-do lists, skateboards and pickles with our three couples, whilst chit-chatting amusingly about their own relationship quirks and whatnot. Well, Carr and Millican do, while Geri looks like a wax model of herself squeezed into Herve Leger, and waffles inanely about the UN at the drop of a hat. Remember how excruciating Geri was to watch in that episode of Sex and the City? Well, it’s like that but much longer. It is surprising, honestly, just how unconvincing Halliwell is at playing a human being.

With the exception of the cute old couple who’ve been together for 53 years and have a disagreement over pickles. The Marriage Ref combines the TV-influencing-relationships bit of Blind Date with the normal-people-being-talked-at-by-celebs bit of Michael Barrymore’s oeuvre, and ends up like Bob Monkhouse’s Bob’s Your Uncle, but without prizes. It feels stale and forced, and we reckon it would be much improved with a better choice of panel guests and more authority from Dermot. Think Judge Judy, Dermo, and you’re onto a good thing.

The Marriage Ref is on ITV1, Saturdays at 9pm. What are you doing in at 9pm on a Saturday night?