Kerry Katona announces fifth pregnancy, world weeps

11 Kerry Katona goes to Argos Kerry Katona and Mark Croft goes to Argos advert Kerry Katona looking healthy Kerry Katona having a fag Kerry Katona having another fag Kerry Katona's trademark pose advert Kerry Katona in Argos Kerry Katona and Mark Croft go to Argos Kerry Katona go to Argos Kerry Katona in Argos

Kerry Katona pregnant

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 13/01/2010 - 11:01 by HM writer

We can now reveal that Kerry Katona didn't quit fat camp after two and a half minutes just because she's terribly lazy and loves a packet of Mayfair menthols after a several hundred donner kebabs. Kerry has just announced, via Twitter, that she's expecting her fifth child...Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!111111!!!!!!!!

Sorry Mark, but that £35,000 Ducati motorbike has to go back...

Kerry set the story straight earlier and Twatted:

"Ok twits, I wouldn't normally come out and say this cos its dead early but all the BULL**** being wrote in press that I quit, I'm fat, I'm lazy is CRAP!

"I had to leave cos I found out that me and Mark are having another baby! Yep!!! We are dead shocked but OVER THE MOON!"

She added, after some fool (probably her mum) congratulated her:

"Awww thanks guys!' she wrote. 'We are in SHOCK! But looking forward to new baby in 2010! Please god, let it be healthy and another boy would even it out!I Wouldn't normally say this early on but we have had a early scan and all looks well! I'm just past 7 weeks! I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!"

And what better way to celebrate than buying two fruit machines and turning your house, which she reportedly faces losing after failing to keep up with the mortgage payments, into an arcade...

Kerry already has one-year-old Max and two-year-old Heidi with Kerry's husband Mark Croft and Kerry's daughters Lily-Sue, seven and Molly, nine, from her relationship with Westlife star Brian McFadden. Who is probably wiping his brow and sighing with relief as he wakes up next to Delta Goodrem.

Apropos of absolutely nothing: Does anyone know if it's possible for a child to be placed into care while it's still in the womb???

Edit: Nope, it is because she's too lazy and not pregnat. Twitter apparently a hoax. Phew.

Kerry Katona and Mark Croft, Kerry Katona pictures, Pregnant Celebrities, Kerry Katona, Mark Croft

Comments

A pregnancy calendar will give you details on the development of your baby and what is happening to the mother during pregnancy. This is a monthly calendar week of pregnancy with information for each week of pregnancy.
todmenu Mon, 03/01/2011 - 18:53
she is pregnant with guff. you might see her on crimewatch. along with david 'crack house' attenburgher. he of decadent natural history infame.
gumboot2001 Fri, 15/01/2010 - 08:54
Ah mr Verkauf I presume (or is that Heirr Verkauf as your local dutch police would call you). You just carry on now nothingh to see round here
officerdibble Wed, 13/01/2010 - 17:46
Yep agreed - it was always more likely that it was cos she was pathologically fat and lazy. Anyway, didn't think Mark did her anymore - on account of the above medical condition.
stella ah trois Wed, 13/01/2010 - 14:16
There you are! We were mourning you on the board. Tesco worried.
stella ah trois Wed, 13/01/2010 - 14:07
You can arrange for it to be taken in to care at birth during the pregnancy...
facecake Wed, 13/01/2010 - 14:03
What? Rather than pregnant without child?

You fucking cretin.
Verkauf Wed, 13/01/2010 - 13:32
Jesus "council slapper pops out another leech" exclusive.....hardly big news is it. Can we just forget that this roly-poly-retard was ever famous and start treating her the same as all the other benefit scamming scum out there i.e. ignore her until she drinks \ smokes herself into an early grave.
MJwasakiddyfiddler Wed, 13/01/2010 - 13:32
just what the world needs, another oxygen thieving spawn, spat from her capacious, fetid, clown's pocket of a snatch in a scene reminiscent of 'Perfume, Portrait of a Murderer'.

congratulations!
unseemlydogposture Wed, 13/01/2010 - 13:03
I believe that smoking whilst preganant with child is an offence under section 44a subpara 1 of the child protection act 2009. Miss Catona would be well advised to put that cigarette out
officerdibble Wed, 13/01/2010 - 12:04
Any excuse to let herself slide,and how would a boy "even it out"? 3+2 =5 which I believe is still an odd number,or is this the new maths young people do these days? Scum
tigerstail Wed, 13/01/2010 - 11:35
I thought the correct PR protocol when your career was going down the tubes was the flirtation with lesbianism, announcement of the stay at The Priory to tie in with the release of the 'autobiography' detailing why your present car-crash lifestyle is entirely down to you not getting enough tit as a baby and THEN the 'delighted to be pregnant' line?

Dropped a right bollock here, she has.
jiggerycock Wed, 13/01/2010 - 11:23
Well, they will get more child benefit, child tax credits (not working ones cos they don't I think) and will go straight to top of council house list. Work the system, I say.
stella ah trois Wed, 13/01/2010 - 11:16

Well, they will get more child benefit, child tax credits (not working ones cos they don't I think) and will go straight to top of council house list. Work the system, I say.
stella ah trois Wed, 13/01/2010 - 11:16
I thought the correct PR protocol when your career was going down the tubes was the flirtation with lesbianism, announcement of the stay at The Priory to tie in with the release of the 'autobiography' detailing why your present car-crash lifestyle is entirely down to you not getting enough tit as a baby and THEN the 'delighted to be pregnant' line?

Dropped a right bollock here, she has.
jiggerycock Wed, 13/01/2010 - 11:23
Any excuse to let herself slide,and how would a boy "even it out"? 3+2 =5 which I believe is still an odd number,or is this the new maths young people do these days? Scum
tigerstail Wed, 13/01/2010 - 11:35
I believe that smoking whilst preganant with child is an offence under section 44a subpara 1 of the child protection act 2009. Miss Catona would be well advised to put that cigarette out
officerdibble Wed, 13/01/2010 - 12:04
just what the world needs, another oxygen thieving spawn, spat from her capacious, fetid, clown's pocket of a snatch in a scene reminiscent of 'Perfume, Portrait of a Murderer'.

congratulations!
unseemlydogposture Wed, 13/01/2010 - 13:03
Jesus "council slapper pops out another leech" exclusive.....hardly big news is it. Can we just forget that this roly-poly-retard was ever famous and start treating her the same as all the other benefit scamming scum out there i.e. ignore her until she drinks \ smokes herself into an early grave.
MJwasakiddyfiddler Wed, 13/01/2010 - 13:32
What? Rather than pregnant without child?

You fucking cretin.
Verkauf Wed, 13/01/2010 - 13:32
You can arrange for it to be taken in to care at birth during the pregnancy...
facecake Wed, 13/01/2010 - 14:03
There you are! We were mourning you on the board. Tesco worried.
stella ah trois Wed, 13/01/2010 - 14:07
Yep agreed - it was always more likely that it was cos she was pathologically fat and lazy. Anyway, didn't think Mark did her anymore - on account of the above medical condition.
stella ah trois Wed, 13/01/2010 - 14:16
Ah mr Verkauf I presume (or is that Heirr Verkauf as your local dutch police would call you). You just carry on now nothingh to see round here
officerdibble Wed, 13/01/2010 - 17:46
she is pregnant with guff. you might see her on crimewatch. along with david 'crack house' attenburgher. he of decadent natural history infame.
gumboot2001 Fri, 15/01/2010 - 08:54
A pregnancy calendar will give you details on the development of your baby and what is happening to the mother during pregnancy. This is a monthly calendar week of pregnancy with information for each week of pregnancy.
todmenu Mon, 03/01/2011 - 18:53