OK, we'll start:
'Moths found Madonna's cashmere swine flu mask before she did'.
Blame Mr HM...
WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
Lindsay Lohan heads back to LA after being rejected by Jesus in Paris
Madonna leaves Jesus at home to attend art show, picks up reality star Adam Senn
Jesus Luz set to release a pop record this spring after Madonna performs miracle
Jesus escorts Madonna to the Rio Carnival whilst wearing the dunce hat
Is Madonna Johnny Depp's stunt double in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland?
Big Brother winner Pete Bennett gets married, amazing photos
P Diddy pays tribute to Notorious BIG by acting like an absolute cockend
Peaches Geldof and Eli Roth continue their thinly-veiled bout of self validation
Ronnie Wood visits the country with girlfriend, look like murderers
Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler get sexy for W Magazine ahead of Bounty Hunter release
Elton John's Oscar party, posh looks drunk, Cowell's breasts
Chanelle Hayes still pregnant, goes out with Robbie Coltrane
Take That's Mark Owen gets busted for 10 affairs
Daisy Lowe slips into a swimsuit and pair of hot-pants for Louis Vuitton bag campaign
X Factor's Rachel Adedeji gets the Holy Moly Interrogation
Katie Price sends saucy texts to Brazilian toyboy Andre Pinto
X Factor's Lucie Jones gets a Holy Moly Interrogation
When Holy Moly met JLS
How much is your sex tape worth?
What is so damn great about Blighty?
COMMENTS (18)
"latest HM caption competition fails when casual observer points out it's just a scarf and not a mask"
There's nothing casual about you...
"Cunts go to cinema"
can I have my prize now please
The only two people to pay to see "Whatever happened to the Morgans" look sheepish upon leaving the cinema.
That's clearly the evil shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fame
Gee boss, it's da toiydles!
"Madonna covers her face in NYC with Jesus Luz"
Hahahahahaha think Mopsa won.
(Personally think it's Mr HM who has accessorised with a Russian hat thing.)
Madonna completely misses the point of bukkake...
Overrated old slapper goes for Gaga/Rab C look, while Jesus goes for a ninja style in the under 12s category
Your powers are weak, old man.