After storming Ibiza Rocks this year, The Prodigy had no time to celebrate as they had to be up very early the next morning to fly back to the UK in time for their Milton Keynes gig.

Well, apart from Liam Howlett who developed a, shall we say, taste for a party. After getting hold of some party, he ended up not getting to sleep until a ridiculous hour in the morning and subsequently missed the booked flight. This wasn't thought of as a disaster until Liam realised that, being Ibiza in the height of summer, getting a commercial flight without a booking is completely impossible - even for a famous person like Liam.

A quick call to the management - after receiving the bollocking of his LIFE - he had to jump on a private plane at the cost of £15,000, which was taken straight out of his back pocket. He's scared to death of his Appleton missus finding out - so if you know her, please don't tell her, she'd smack that bitch right up [Dreadful shoehorn - Ed].

QUESTION!

Which ex-Rolling Stone wife's much lauded fragrant looks are nothing to do with healthy living, positive thoughts and all things organic and everything to do with 2 x tummy tucks, 1 x breast lift and implants in her arse? 

GUESS HERE!

"Please don't use mobile phones on this train out of respect for your fellow passengers".

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X Factor's loved-up contestants papped in raunchy porn shop.

Susan Boyle implicated. Click here

People driving into West London on the M4 will no doubt be OVERJOYED to have learned of the government's plan to scrap the bus lane that's caused misery to millions.

So far so boring - but the interesting rumour sweeping around is the nature of the decision to scrap it. Tales of lobbying, blackmail, class a and denim all play a part in the most libellous story that anyone daft enough could print… I'm not quite that daft yet, so do your own homework and fill in the gaps.

If rumours are to be believed, the tabloids have swapped their love of footballers private lives to get stuck into an old flame - Gordon Ramsey. You may have read the story about Ramsey's father in-law leaving the company... Well, it looks like that's not the only problem - apparently the company is facing a massive MASSIVE lack of money. That's not the story that's causing the tabloids to look at him once again though…

I'd pay cold hard cash to see this made.

After a gig a few years ago, Grace Jones ended up in the George Tavern in Stepney after hours playing the piano in nothing but a thong, before she sat on the floor, dressed in the same way, and vommed everywhere.

QUESTION!

Over the course of Grand Prix weekends, C, J and M like to go out on the pull together and the next morning, J always gives B hassle for going home empty-handed. Apparently he goes "too young, too soon".

GUESS HERE!

We did a story on the Kings of Leon being massive precious bellends a couple of weeks ago, and, I'm sorry to say, that it seems Seal has caught this dreadful infliction.

Before giving a recent radio interview, Seal (flanked by loads of security) shook the hand of the producer before holding out hand flat towards a member of security who immediately wiped his hand with an antiseptic wipe. 

Crazy (haha me).

Were you as confused as we were by Diana Vickers' performance on X Factor? Fear not - a translation is at hand!

Massive congrats to Peter and Kali x