It's been a while since someone polarised opinion as much as Lana Del Rey. It's also been a while since a flying fuck was given about an album, regardless of it's content ("content"). The hipsters on one side, the purists on the other - in the middle are people who just like listening to something not unpleasant. Who's right? There's only one way to find out…

First we hear from the prosecution:

1. IT'S NOT HER REAL NAME!
2. SHE'S HAD HER LIPS DONE!
3. SHE'S A RICH GIRL WHO HASN'T BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH YEARNING PAIN AND HEARTACHE TO GRANT HER THE RIGHT TO SING ABOUT SAD THINGS!
4. SHE DOESN'T MEAN IT MAN!
5. THE BLOKE WHO WROTE LEAVE RIGHT NOW WROTE VIDEO GAMES!!
6. WE'RE BEING TOLD IT'S GOOD BY THE MAN/MEN!

"We have no more questions your honour"

The defence:

1. Incredibly, the words Lady and Gaga don't appear anywhere on Lady Gag's birth certificate.
2. Both Madonna and Kylie are more Botox than skin.
3. Says who? As far as I'm aware, Lana Del Rey has more right to sing about her bloke playing Fifa than David Bowie does discussing the merits of Living on Mars, but I could be wrong.
4. In hindsight, neither did Johnny Rotten.
5. Both of which are amazing songs.
6. We agree your honour, that the placement of Lana Del Rey in the public consciousness has sometimes resembled a fois Gras farmer fisting a goose's throat and that she is still a bit shaky out of her comfort zone - but Lady Gaga's first video had Akon in it for goodness sake. Give us a break your honour.

Which side of the fence are you on? HM won't judge you either way.