If you’ve not seen them yet, below are this year’s Brit Awards 2012 nominations. These are the same names we’d find if we shuffled through your iPhone, aren’t they? This is, like, all your favourite music in one place. It doesn’t matter who wins, music is the real winner. Hooray for music. Ed Sheeran is extraordinarily popular isn’t he?

So what happened was… every music journalist in the country was aqueezed into the Savoy ballroom last night (Thursday, January 12) to hear the 2012 Brits nominations read out through a dodgy PA by Radio 1’s Greg James, who managed to read out Ellie Goulding’s name without choking up (it gets easier fella, it does).

James Corden came on and was funny, in an informal way. And admitted to having nicked Lisa Stansfield’s Brit from the BPI offices. Although he pointed out it was from a year when Lisa Stansfield didn’t win so… make of that what you will conspiracy theorists.

Jessie J came on, jetlagged and babbling amusingly. We didn’t recognize her at first because she was tanned to the colour of a fine oak table (the photos don't do the hue justice) and sporting a mane of long, thick, glossy hair. She revealed she’s going to shave it all off soon too. For charity.

Emeli Sande came on to accept her Critic’s Choice award, and then showed why she got it by singing in a very lovely way.

Then Greg read out of the nominations, which we’ll come to in a second.

And then Ed Sheeran came on and did that thing where he loops himself singing and playing then sings and plays over the top of that and then loops that and sings and plays over the top of that and then… It went on a bit.

So here are the noms. 

British Male Solo Artist
Ed Sheeran
James Blake
James Morrison
Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
Professor Green

British Female Solo Artist
Adele
Florence & the Machine
Jessie J
Kate Bush
Laura Marling

British Breakthrough Act
Anna Calvi
Ed Sheeran
Emeli Sandé
Jessie J
The Vaccines*

British Group
Arctic Monkeys
Chase & Status
Coldplay
Elbow
Kasabian

British Single
Adele - Someone Like You
Ed Sheeran - The A Team
Example - Changed The Way You Kissed Me
Jessie J Ft B.o.B. - Price Tag
JLS ft Dev - She Makes Me Wanna
Military Wives/Gareth Malone - Wherever You Are
Olly Murs ft Rizzle Kicks - Heart Skips A Beat
One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful
Pixie Lott - All About Tonight
The Wanted - Glad You Came

Mastercard British Album Of The Year
Adele - 21
Coldplay Mylo Xyloto
Ed Sheeran - +
Florence & the Machine - Ceremonials
PJ Harvey - Let England Shake

International Male Solo Artist
Aloe Blacc
Bon Iver
Bruno Mars
David Guetta
Ryan Adams

International Female Solo Artist
Beyoncé
Björk
Feist
Lady Gaga
Rihanna

International Group
Fleet Foxes
Foo Fighters
Jay-Z/Kanye West
Lady Antebellum
Maroon 5

International Breakthrough Act
Aloe Blacc
Bon Iver
Foster The People
Lana Del Rey
Nicki Minaj

Outstanding Contribution To Music Award
Blur

Critics' Choice
1st: Emeli Sandé (Virgin/EMI Music)
2nd: Maverick Sabre (Mercury/Universal Music)
3rd: Michael Kiwanuka (Polydor/Universal Music)

British Producer
Paul Epworth
Flood
Ethan Johns

So yes, Ed Sheeran is nominated four times. And yes, Kanye West and Jay-Z are a group now. Yes they are.

Well done music. No, really. Well done.

*Jesus wept