Robert Pattinson has been a brother-in-arms for Daniel Radcliffe. Both have managed to thrill a multitude of prepubescent teenagers with their supernatural powers, both have managed to earn far above that which their talent should have allowed, and both have now also recently admitted to their less than adoring critics that, well, they're actually a bit shit.

Unlike Daniel Radcliffe however, it's a little difficult to feel sorry for Robert Pattinson. Mainly because he's decided to take the 'life's so hard' route rather than Daniel's 'I probably should have been a plasterer' defence. (Via Heat)

"Doing something like Twilight opens doors and it closes others," 

"You can say, 'Oh if I was still unknown, then no-one would judge me'. 

Here at Holy Moly, we have loads of mates. We’re basically socialites, like Paris Hilton without the lazy eye and general air of repugnance. Just last week, in fact, we tried to send a group text, only for the phone to tell us we’d selected too many recipients! Loads of mates, us. Loads.

David Beckham, on the other hand, has only got three friends. Apparently, when you’re a millionaire ball-kicker and underwear, er, wearer, you only need three friends.

Talking to Men's Health, he said:

“It’s all you need. I’d rather have three really good friends than 20 good friends.”

It's very common for famous women to go on about their 'girl crushes' - so much so we're surprised the juice bar chain hasn't cashed in with a 'Kelly Brook/Rihanna crusssh' (you can have that idea for free). However, guys don't mention their same sex imaginary loves as much. It's almost as if they don't they want to titillate their fans, which is strange since we're pretty sure that's exactly why their female counterparts do it... That is until now, because Daniel Radcliffe has bravely stepped forward and given the world a nice little mental visual of him and Ryan Gosling in a tender loving embrace...

Talking to Attitude magazine, Daniel Radcliffe said:

“This year I have a talent crush on Ryan Gosling. I think he’s fantastic and…(ahem) you know he’d be nice afterwards. He seems smart. If I was gay, I would go for a smart man.”

If only.

As always, we've included a gallery of lovely pics of Gosling. Now you can imagine Radcliffe holding his hand as you flick through.

Kanye West doesn't care much for modesty or subtlety. He's got a new East London fashion empire on the way, he's filming a blockbuster in the middle of a desert somewhere and he's been compared to sliced bread by at least three close friends. What more could he want?

Apparently, he'd like to be the new Michael Jackson, albeit without the kiddy fiddling accusations, mild insanity and then death by drinking anaesthetic. According to the producer and longtime Kanye collaborator No I.D (Dion Wilson), who has recently opened up to Complex.com about the batshit rapper, anyway:

"One day, we took Kanye to meet former Sony Music Chairman Donnie Ienner, and he danced around singing this song and saying, 'I’m gonna be the next Michael Jackson.'

"To us, it was like, 'This is hip-hop! What are you talking about? Are you kidding me?'

In any gang there's always someone who takes it too far. The person who always gets the last, most vicious kick in during a fight to try and impress the others. Here at HM we pride ourselves on being the person who gets involved after that. The kind of person who steals someone's shoes and then gives them a dirty sanchez.

Heartbreakingly, in the matter of Denise Welch's recent marriage breakup and appearance on Big Brother, it seems that we've found someone even worse than us. Worse, but at the same time much better with swearwords and creative insults. Enter Twitter user allymoney1…

"So disgusting the carryon of #DeniseWelch on @Loosewomen and her pride in affairs and drunken behaviour shes no role model

@michaelmadsen @MadsenThePoet you should have won man your a legend Denise Welch is mental

There haven't been that many jokes about Jade Goody's ghost since she died, which is spooky. It's probably because jokes about the dead are utterly tasteless and any journalists that do make them would find themselves haunted by guilt.

Of course, that's not to say various ghastly individuals haven't written them. We all  know there are a few bloodless individuals who wouldn't even flinch at the thought of checking out every joke possibility. Not us though, we'd be MORTIFIED. HO FUCKING HO.

Anyway, the reason we mention it is because Goody's ex, Jeff Brazier, has said their son Freddie often sees his mother Jade being spectral and ghostly in his bedroom at night:

"My personal experiences have left me open-minded about the paranormal.

In a lot of ways, when this bit of news arrived it was a bit like VE Day in the office. All anyone knew was that the awful thing that had been happening had come to an end. No-one cared why it was happening, just that it was. The same's happened here. It's all over guys. Finished. You don't have to pretend that you don't care anymore. Peter Andre has said he's no longer interested in talking about his bank manager Katie Price.

What he's going to talk about now is anyone's guess. Wouldn't it be great if now he's stopped moaning about how his ex-wife raised his career from the dead, he turned out to be a secret genius? Or an amazing athlete? Or maybe even a famous musician? Apparently only people who are close to him will understand though. (Via New Magazine)

It's getting a bit tedious having to listen to Cher Lloyd go on and on about her merciless hectoring at the hands of at least ten different internet bullies. Not that it's not a terrible, awful thing to happen to any teenager*, but most right thinking people lost interest in cyber crime after they realised it had absolutely no effect on their ability to watch porn or buy useless crap on eBay.

Although, in the square-faced Worcester rapper's defence, she has tried to explain exactly why the bullying has affected her so much more than it seems to have affected other child geniuses like say, that pair of haircare specialists Jedward. (Via Disorder Magazine)

"I'm an oddbod, I'm an old lady trapped inside a young woman's body, which isn't a bad thing.

There was a time when we were all more than happy to casually share our thoughts with each other about ex-X Factor contestant Cher Lloyd. Most of these thoughts, being based on circumstantial TV evidence and Daily Mail comments, were negative and on the internet. 

But we were young and innocent back then. We didn't understand what 'cockslut', 'pikey' or 'gypo whore' meant. We had no idea that saying 'Cher Lloyd looks like Cheryl Cole after a two week stint in Fritzl's basement' could be construed as hurtful. WE DIDN'T KNOW.

As we've pointed out many, many times, Liam is the evil Gallagher and Noel is the good one. Liam wants to eat babies and burn puppies, Noel just wants to heal the world and make it a better place for you and for me and the entire human race. Liam likes cycling, Noel likes public transport. Liam eats tofu, Noel eats kebabs. The two are polar opposites. They're black and white, yin and yang, the sun and the moon, the Holy Moly writers and journalists- who- don't- constantly-recieve-threatening-emails-from-their-readers.

OR SO WE THOUGHT.

In a shocking revelation that has rocked the ENTIRE STAFF at Holy Moly TO THEIR CORE, our little pumpkin angel princess Noel has revealed that everything we thought we knew about him was wrong. He's no angel, in fact he's not even a pumpkin princess. BECAUSE Noel Gallagher SECRETLY HARBOURS A DESIRE TO KILL DEFENCELESS OLD LADIES. (Via his blog)

Theoretically everyone should be on PETA's side. After all, their main purpose is of ensuring supermodels don't punch rabbits in the face or stuff lipstick up puppies' bumholes is a valiant one. So why they then trivialise their work by issuing over-the-top vitriolic press statements every time a celebrity mentions that they may, at some point in the past, have accidentally looked up a picture of a burger online, is beyond most people's understanding.

Still, they do, and our job is to tell you when that happens. Because there's nothing that makes us angrier than when someone other than us insults a celebrity. It's shocking, it's unnecessary and quite frankly, it's just not fair.

Especially when that celebrity is Liam Neeson, and he's talking about eating wolf stew while preparing for his new film, The Grey. He's a big man. He needs to eat. Wolves.

Just to clarify, the guy on the left is the lookalike and the guy on the right is George Clooney himself. They do look similar - in the sense that they've both got a face with eyes, a nose and a mouth. Neither have got a beard either, we thought we'd point out.

Here's David James Glendon, who has just won a ticket for this month's Oscars after beating 782 other people in a George Clooney lookalike competition held at an Irish bar. 

The competition was organised by Kilkenny-based filmmaker and historian Gabriel Murray, who told the local paper: 

"My company Olympia Films were allocated four tickets to the Oscars in March so we will be taking David with us. He will also be attending the Irish Film and TV Awards, which are held in Dublin next month."

Meanwhile, the winner said 

We initially thought it was odd that the highly talented Michael Fassbender was absent from the Oscar nomination list, although now we understand why the Academy suits shunned him. Guys, he likes to - shhhhhh - party. He likes to party at parties. Has no one ever told him that parties aren't for partying - even when it's your own party? Have you ever seen the chap from The Artist partying at his own party? Exactly. 

Despite the above picture showing merry ol' Fassbender being happily carried out of the A Dangerous Method premiere after party on Tuesday night, The Sun claims he was asked to leave after his 'high spirited' behaviour caused offence. This has been rubbished by fellow guests (who we're more likely to believe), but one source told the paper:

There are lots of reasons to dislike Courtney Love, most of which seem to stem from her increasingly loose grip on reality. Of course, no-one's saying it's entirely her fault. If those drugs weren't so gosh-darned delicious, and didn't  somehow keep finding their way down her noggin and inbetween her toes and into the back of her knees, maybe she could live a normal life. But they are, and she can't.

Although, whatever you say about her sporadic contact with Mission Control, at the same time you've got to admit she seems like a bit of a laugh. Killing cats, making up conspiracy theories, starting fires in bed, throwing rocks through ex-boyfriend's windows and accusing British gossip websites of stealing her mobile phone is just another day's work for that crazy little thing called Love*.